Friday, December 31, 2010

2011 ... BRING IT!!!

I have never been so excited for a New Year to start. It wasn't that 2010 was horrible or anything like that, but I just feel like for the first time (ever) that I have so much motivation and inspiration for the coming year. I have so many things that I want to accomplish this year and I'm SOOOO excited to get started on them. 

Even though I've had a few set backs these past couple of weeks, I will say that I think I found my 'motivation' that I was lacking every other time I tried to lose weight. I can't explain it - it's not that I'm after a prize that I'm wanting to get - but it's more like I'm just actually motivated. I'm just excited and can't wait to start this journey... and be DONE with it! (hahaha)

But seriously - part of the reason that I feel like I can do it this time, is because of all the encouragement all of you have given me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it - and I hope that if you feel like, you'll join in on the challenges and just have fun with me. 

So here's to the end of 2010 ... and 2011 - I can't WAIT to see what you have in store for me!

Darn It! I missed my deadline again!

I'm supposed to post before midnight every day. I missed it. But in my defense, my daughter un-expectantly woke up and it took a bit to get her back to sleep. 

Good News: I more than hit my calorie burn
Bad News: I have no clue how many calories I consumed today

I went grocery shopping today so we're back to being stocked up on some of the basics - so that helps a ton. I have to still make a trip to Trader Joe's, but I should be able to get to that tomorrow - right after my eye appointment. (my eyes are getting worse and worse... unfortunately)

Well, there's really nothing much left to say. So I think I'll just head to bed now. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Just a few days left ...

... and then its a new year!

I have to say - I'm not doing too well this week with my eating. I'm kind of mentally stuck on the notion that I'm 're-launching' this whole thing come January 1st (or 2nd.. or whatever day the first Sunday in January is).  But at least I hit my calorie burn today (which I failed to do the past couple of days ... I was close ... but still no cigar). 

Anyway... this sounds like a downer post, but it isn't. I'm just ... well ... blah. 

But I'm really liking the new 'challenge' aspect to the blog. I think it's going to be fun. 

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Were You Up for the CHALLENGE?!

Okay - so Today IS THE DAY where you're supposed to log in your 'results' for the weekly Challenge!

I read the comments from yesterday (and spoke to a couple of you on the phone) and all I have to say is that I laughed SUPER HARD

Who would have thought that jumping jacks could make 2 minutes of your life seem like living hell. But it did for me. I made the husband try the challenge after he kinda snickered through my two minutes and he only beat me by 4. (snicker snicker snicker) And we both felt nauseous when we went to bed. Good times ... good times ...

So here's my score:

144

(and I'll take it thank you very much)

oh - and I wasn't ABOUT to try and beat my score. 
I'm not one for torture.


So here's the challenge for next week:

Complete ONE MINUTE of side 'leg lifts'
then quickly roll to the other side and
completely one ADDITIONAL minute of side 'leg lifts'

So basically you have two minutes of leg lifts with a quick roll in the middle.

Here's a visual:


the best part - when I was searching the internet for an image
this came up on a website that featured exercises for those over 60. 
 ... awesome ...


So put that Challenge in your back pocket, but don't forget about it. There will be reminders before next Wednesday so you'll have plenty of time to accomplish the task. 

Okay - so tell me your numbers! I wanna know how great you all are!!!

Monday, December 27, 2010

DUDE ... seriously?!

um... I just tried to the CHALLENGE.

You remember what that is - right? You have 2 minutes to do as many jumping jacks as you can.

Yeah ... um ... that is WAY SUPER HARD.

The problem is that I started off WAY too fast. No pacing for this girl - and it totally got the best of me. After a minute, I had to stop to catch my breath ... and then I finished shortly after. (well, that is after I felt like my lungs stopped constricting)

Okay, so my legs are still throbbing, I think my heart kind of hurts and my throat still burns a bit. (if that doesn't scream 'out of shape' I don't know what does

So for all of you who are going to do the challenge, you have ONE DAY LEFT!!! So get out your timers and start jumping!

I'll post my results tomorrow... and I'll also post the next challenge. So get a move on!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Accomplishments Anyone?

And we're BACK! Another week down - but this one was filled with hurdles and temptations and failures galore. But it's finished and over with, and I don't have to think about it again for another year.

Whew!

So let's get straight to the point:


I GAINED

2lbs!

I know. Pretty pathetic. Although I will say that I'm kinda holding on to the notion that I might just be retaining water. I mean, I had two days where I burned over 3000 calories (which I've never done before) so I think that had to help out some. Also, I didn't even come close to drinking enough water... so I'm holding out a bit of hope that it'll drop off as fast as it came on. 

I mentioned this before, but I really am excited to start the New Year. I think I'll be a bit more organized in how I'll post and have some new stuff to write about, so you don't get totally bored with me just checking in. 

Oh - and the challenges! Here's some ideas I have for 'next year':

Complete a 5K in a WEEK
Complete a 10K in a WEEK
Complete a half MARATHON in a WEEK
Complete a MARATHON in a WEEK

I figure we'll start off small and work up to the big one. And obviously you can break up the distance how ever you want through-out the week. You can do it all in one day, or break it up over all 7 - what ever works for you. 

And no, I have zero plans for ever running an actual marathon. I have absolutely NO desire to take that on. I'll gladly drive a marathon, but that's about it. 

Oh - and today I didn't do too well with my eating. I'm going to try and clean up my act for the rest of the week, but if I'm being honest, I have New Years on my brain as a re-launch date, so I kinda want to give myself a break until then... which we all know is dangerous. 

So we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll try and just up the cardio ... what to do ... what to do ...

Saturday, December 25, 2010

and now ... back to reality

I'm not going to sugar coat this. I gained weight. I can already tell (since I weigh myself every day... remember?) I just feel bloated and I didn't drink enough water all WEEK, so tomorrow's weigh - in is NOT going to make me happy. 

But you know, as much as I enjoyed indulging in every tasty treat that I wanted ... it still comes back to the same thing: I don't feel good afterwards. 

So I think it's super great that all the main 'eating holidays' are now behind us. I'm looking forward to getting back into my groove, and honestly - I'm REALLY looking forward to the New Year. It's almost like these past weeks have been my 'prep', to get me ready to really START. And January One will be almost like a 're-launch' for me. I know what I have to do, I know what foods I like, what calorie burn I need to hit - and when you mix it all together, it should result in some GREAT results. (or at least that's the plan). 

I'm excited to start the weekly challenges and I have some BIG ideas that we can do together. (of course we'll start out small as I'm not about to set myself up for failure). So stick around and hopefully we'll be making some healthy lifestyle changes together. 

Hope your Christmas was merry and bright!

Friday, December 24, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'm sitting here on the couch, wishing you all a VERY Merry Christmas, while  I'm eating sugar cookies. (don't forget - I already planned on splurging on Christmas Eve and Christmas) Oh, and just for the record, I'm on track to be finishing the day with my HIGHEST calorie burn - EVER. 

Pretty nice gift if you ask me!

I hate myself

Okay, not really. But I HATE the fact that I forgot to post before midnight. Seriously - it totally irks me. It's been a super busy night because I have a super busy day tomorrow (or technically today) so I was trying to get everything done. The good news, is that I hit an all time calorie burn HIGH! I guess it pays to be busy :)

Alright, I'm off to bed, it's 1:30a and I have a ton to do in the morning. 

Good night all - and Merry Christmas Eve!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

hmm... maybe I'm TOO good at justifying...

I kinda think that I'm pretty good as justifying things. Like if you make a purchase that you're having seconds thoughts on, I can almost guarantee that I can 'justify' it so that you'll want to keep it. Seriously. 

Well, I think I've talked myself into being too lenient with my eating this week. And that's SO not good. My original plan was just for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but I kinda messed up yesterday and a little bit today. I'm also under on my calorie burn and as soon as I log this post it's back on the rebounder to work off those extra calories. 

I just have to say that doing this 'lifestyle change' during the Holidays really is hard. Part of me wants to just give myself a break and indulge this week as I'll FOR SURE be getting back into it on Monday. (or Sunday... or maybe Monday - hahaha!) I know that it's impossible to gain 11 lbs in a week, but I really hate thinking that I'm going to gain some back. With Christmas being on a Saturday and my weigh in on a Sunday, I can pretty much guarantee that I'll have at least some water retention that's going to cause the scale to move in a less than desirable direction. 

So what to do... what to do... I really want to partake in some yummy goodness as this time of year comes only once a year... and the next 'eating holiday' isn't until ... um ... Easter? So that gives me a long time to be restrictive and disciplined. (oh yeah.. there's Valentine's Day...)

Maybe I can just hit my burn for the day - or increase the burn to allow for some 'extras' that I'll consume...

ugh... this is kinda killing me right now. I guess I'll go think about it some more while I do some more bouncing. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

it's ON like donkey kong!

Okay, so I have to stop and make a little clarification. It was pointed out by my Mom and Aunt that I said '100 cowbell swings' and it was supposed to be '100 KETTLEbell swings'.  (obviously I don't do these very often ... if at all)

Yes, yes, laugh all you want, but you just wait until the challenge is 'who can look the most Korean' and I will SOOOOO be winning that one!


I think Wednesdays will be the perfect day to start the Challenges and we always get a little lazy mid-way through the week ... am I right? Or am I right? 



HERE ARE THE RULES:

You have one week to complete the challenge
You can do the challenge as many times as you want
You MUST post your results
You HAVE TO HAVE FUN or it's not worth it

I'll post a reminder on Monday so it gives you a couple of days
to catch up if needed. 



THE CHALLENGE FOR THIS WEEK IS:

How Many Jumping Jacks can you do in 2 MINUTES?


And just for the record, I say you can do the ones where you have your hands in fists, and your elbows bent. So that means you don't have to 'straight arm it'. (I know, that was pretty super nice of me, right? Although I would almost give a prize to someone if they video taped themselves doing 'straight armed jumping jacks' as fast as they could and sent it to me. Who am I kidding, I will TOTALLY give a prize to anyone who does that!)

Monday, December 20, 2010

It's a CHALLENGE

Okay, so here's the dealio on what I'm going to start posting once a week. 

A year or so ago (I can't quite remember) some friends and I had a blog for weight loss and we had weekly 'challenges' that we would partake in. It was actually pretty fun and if anything, it got you moving. But obviously it didn't make me move enough.

My family has a 'website', which is actually more like  'forum' or 'bulletin board' where we can start different topics and talk about stuff. (its a pretty cool way to stay in touch with family since we all live in different areas) One of my Aunts is a personal trainer, and if I even lived within a half hour of her, I'd be one of her clients. She is not only one of the most fittest people I know, she's super encouraging and her personality would actually work with mine as far as a trainer/trainee relationship goes (well... I'm not sure she knows how much I complain when I work out... so she may actually hate that)

Anyway, she started posting these little 'challenges' that she does and it got me thinking ... I should TOTALLY start doing the weekly challenges again since I'm actually TRYING to lose weight this time. 

Here's an example of the challenges she does:

500 Mountain Climbers
200 Side Plank Hip Lifts
7 minutes of Burpees
300 Jump Lunges

And of course she times herself and does things way super fast (some of things I don't even know how to do). Her most recent was 100 cowbell swings. 


Here's an example of what I'm thinking we could for challenges on my blog:

How many miles can you walk/run in a week
How many girl push ups can you do in a week
How many stairs can you climb in 2 minutes (you can use stairs in your house if you want)
How many jumps can you jump rope without messing up

Those are a bit more my style. So I'm thinking that each week I'll post a challenge and anyone can participate. Then when the week is done, you can post your time, number, etc. 

How does that sound? Do you think it's fun? I totally think it would be fun - and it would be SO FUN to know that I have people doing these things WITH me (how's that for a bit of pressure?!).

So now I need some ideas - do you have any? They don't have to be hard, and they can be silly. Or they can be super challenging and we'll what happens (hahaha). I'll be thinking too, and I'll post my additional ideas in the comments as well. 

I guess you could say that's the first mini-challenge... COME UP WITH SOME IDEAS!!!


Sunday, December 19, 2010

Accomplishments Anyone?

Alright - it's everyone's favorite time of the week again! What accomplishments do you have? Anything fun, exciting? Good, bad? Anything?!



and for me

I lost another

1.5 lbs!



So honestly, I'm a bit bummed as I wanted to be back to the '2lbs per week' goal I had set. But looking back I realized that my water intake has really gone down (shame on me). So this week that will be one of my main goals. (well, that all the other things I'm trying to accomplish)

Tomorrow I'll be posting something fun - and hopefully something that will continue every week. And it involves reader participation... so I guess you'll just have to come back to find out what it is I'm talking about. 



Saturday, December 18, 2010

I'm Coming Clean

Okay, I think it's time for me to be honest about something. I do my official weigh-ins on Sunday mornings. But here's the thing. I actually weigh myself every day. 

I know that people say you shouldn't do that, but I can't help it. I want to see change, and I have little to no patience. But this week ... well, it kinda frustrated me. My weight has been going up and down all week. I'm still technically under from last week, but BARELY. And that's frustrating. So tonight I tried to keep my calories on the low side, and avoided extra salty foods. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow morning... but I'm thinking it's not going to turn out too good. 

But the good news is that I've always hit my calorie burn each day, so I guess there's nothing I can do but keep on keeping on. 


So let's move on to my virtual closet instead. 

I've said before that if I can't find clothes to fit me, I can always buy a pair a shoes. And while there is some truth in that, it's not entire true, and here's why. 

Take this boot for instance. 
I have large calves, so wearing a dark shoe
that covers so much of my foot and then abruptly stops 
at the ankle is less than flattering on me. 
Granted, I could wear them with long pants, 
but there's a part of me that wants to try and rock them
with a skirt or dress.





 This is actually a joke. 
I can't believe they sell these because unless you are a
woman of the night
you have no business wearing these. Ever.


I really like these boots, but again, because of my
'calf situation', tall boots just don't work on me. 
{big sigh}





Okay, so I think to pull these off you need a very specific
kind of outfit - and I have no clue what that would be.
But I totally dig the bow. 



 This one - I'm pretty sure I like it - but I can't fully decide.
Also, I would have to try them on before I could say for sure if
they would work on my leg. But I do think 
there's something kinda fun about it.

So those are my picks for this week. 
I can't wait until Spring Lines start coming out.
There will be SO much more to choose from. 

Friday, December 17, 2010

Planning Ahead

So things are going decent. I feel like I've gotten into my groove and know what meals work best for me, and what things I need to stay way from. I think the best way to sum it up, is that it's all about balance - and I'm still trying to keep my focus.

That being said, I'm ALL about taking a break here and there. And my next 'break' will be on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I decided that I'm going to allow myself to enjoy anything I want on Christmas. The husband and I have already started talking about our menu, and I have to say, I'm sooooo looking forward to eating it all! I know that sounds lame, but hey - these 'cheat' days don't come all that often. 

On Christmas Eve we're planning on going into the city so while I'm allowing myself to eat treats and high calorie foods, I'll also be doing a ton of walking ... so mentally I think it helps lessen the 'guilt'. But seriously, I'm going to enjoy it. No restrictions. And of course, as soon as I'm done, I'll go right back to my normal routine. 

Sounds like a pretty merry time to me.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Oh man... almost missed my deadline

So the deal I made with myself was that I have to check in on my blog before the end of each day. And according to my computer clock, I only have 11 minutes left. 

Might as well just cut to the chase:

I came in under my calorie count for the day, and I hit my calorie burn for the day. 

Mission accomplished. 


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Half Way There

Hard to believe that we're already half way through the week again. When I was younger it felt like life went by SO slowly, and now I feel like I can barely keep up. Crazy how that works. 

So back to this arm band thingy - I still think its the most amazing thing EVER! It totally keeps me on track to get some 'exercise' in - or least a calorie burn. And I'm really proud to say that I haven't missed my calorie burn for the day even ONCE. Which is actually a huge accomplishment for me. I know I need to increase my 'burn goal', but for right now, I'm still sticking with the 'standard' one. 

Oh - and I wanted to share that yesterday I conserved my calories so that I could take snacks with me to the movies when I went with my girlfriend. But here's the best part - I didn't eat them all! Seriously! I came home with approximately 200 calories left. It was actually a really good feeling. And right now I'm UNDER my calorie intake goal by 300 ... AND I hit my burn (I technically went over it), so today has turned out to be a decent day. 

Tomorrow I'm taking advantage of one last sunny day before  we get a long rain spell moving in. So my calorie burn should be happening as I'll be chasing the kids around. 

So that's that. It's been a good day, and hopefully I'll have an even better tomorrow!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Gotta make this quick...

I was out with one of my girlfriends tonight and it went WAY later than I expected because we were talking and lost track of time. I gotta get on my Rebounder so that I can hit my burn for today. 

I did SO much better in the realm of food and actually went UNDER my calorie count. Feels good, I must say.

Okay -  I gotta bounce (pun intended)

Monday, December 13, 2010

okay, so it's becoming a mental war

I'm finding that half the battle of eating healthy, is getting your brain to go along with it. I was totally pumped to do that today. I started off great: Breakfast, Lunch - no problem! And since I had such a huge calorie reserve left, I figured we could eat something fun for dinner since we had a few errands to run. 

That was the first mistake. 

It's really easy to go over on your calorie count when eating out. Plain and simple. And then once we got home, I really had a sweet craving and just couldn't shake it. So I gave in. I didn't go over board, but I ate about 200 calories that I had no business eating. I was pretty sure I was already over from dinner and this just topped it off. 

I'm not going to beat myself up over it, nor am I going to quit what I'm doing. But I realized that I really need to get serious about getting back to the 'plan'. Also, I need to get mentally stronger so that I don't allow my mind to talk myself into eating things that I really don't need (especially since I wasn't hungry).

The good news is that I did the rebounder again. Actually, I did it twice today for short periods of times. And let me tell you - I still had a great burn from it. I burn between 7-10 calories a minute when I just lightly bounce on that thing. It's not hard, but I totally feel it in my calves. Amazing. I'm so sold on this thing it's not even funny. Which is good considering the fact that we have MANY rainy days in the near future. 

So that's it. The bad and the good. And as I keep saying - I'm back on track again tomorrow. For realsies this time. Not kidding. Like totally. Tru dat.


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Accomplishments Anyone? {UPDATE}

Yes indeed, it is that time again! Time to post your accomplishments for the week and see how far you've come!

But here's the dealio on me:

I was actually out of town for the past few days and just got home today. So I missed my weigh in (as I normally weigh in on Sunday mornings). I actually contemplated taking my scales (yes, you read that right - I have two scales that I use to make sure it's accurate - hahaha) but I didn't want to risk the calibration being off. So I decided that I'd weigh myself on MONDAY morning. Just so you know, we start our days late... so I'll update my weigh in as SOON as I weigh in... so it's not posted yet. SORRY!


While my calorie burn was good all week, the past couple of days I was off on my eating. Not by a ton... well, maybe. Tonight I had Korean food. I contemplated whether or not I should eat such salty food knowing full well I have to weigh in tomorrow morning, but I don't get the opportunity to eat it very often, so I just went with it. And boy, am I paying for it! 

I don't feel good. Seriously. I'm not sure if it's because I wasn't eating as clean as I have been this past month, or that I let myself have a few extra sodas while I was gone. But all I know is that I have to get BACK on track 1000% tomorrow as I HATE how I'm feeling right now. 

So with that. I'm signing off. But like I said, I'll update just as soon as I can!

********** UPDATED **********

So I lost 1.5lbs.  SO CLOSE! ugh! But that will teach me to binge the night before a weigh in. (hahaha)
I still feel a bit 'off' but I'm committed more than ever to get back to my routine. So here's to another month - and hopefully saying good bye to a few more pounds as I go. 

Saturday, December 11, 2010

If I could do it all over ...

... when I got married, I'd change my dress. I liked my dress - it was flattering consider the size I was, but it wasn't exactly what I wanted. What I did want, didn't look good on me. But you win some and lose some. So I lost out on the dream dress, but I won the best husband in the entire world. 

Since I have my own dream virtual closet, I figured I could do a little virtual shopping for a new wedding dress (since it's all make believe anyway, right?!) One of my favorite wedding dress designers has always been Vera Wang. Her dresses are incredible and romantic and beyond dreamy. So here are a few that I'd love to wear... they're quite modern, but that's how I roll (well, at least in my mind I do).






Oh - and I reached my calorie burn for today, but I went over on my calories... hoping the rest of the week balanced out for me!



Friday, December 10, 2010

I can't believe I'm saying this ...

... but I had to make myself eat more today. 

No joke! I've been tending to fall under my calorie goal for the day and I'm getting concerned that it'll have a negative effect. If you watch Biggest Loser, you'll know that there have been times where contestants don't lose very much weight and then the trainers yell at them for not eating enough

Granted, I'm not working out at the level that those crazies are, but now that I know my burn, I'm afraid that I might be screwing stuff up. I'm also finding that it's becoming easy for me to not eat as much. It's almost like my mental obsession with wanting to make sure I get to eat a lot of food has finally started to loosen up. Which I think is a good thing. Oh - and I haven't had my dark chocolate night snack in like... forever. Okay, so maybe a week or two. But I think that's HUGE!

Anyway, I'm taking steps forward... and hopefully it's bringing me closer to reaching that 2 pound weight loss this week!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

get OUT - this thing is AWESOME!

So the best things about my new 'bug' is that it tells me my calorie burn. I know I've said it before, but I really do love this thing! 

I kinda had a rough day today. Nothing horrible, and nothing to do with my food, but I just felt a bit bummed. So I took a nap. Later in the afternoon I checked out my calorie burn and saw that I was way under. So far under, that I wasn't going to hit my daily goal.  I figured that I could just walk my stairs after the kids went to bed (as boring as that sounded) so I got the kids ready to make a quick trip to Target. And when I opened the door, I had a package waiting for me. It was my rebounder.


Yes, I had no idea that a mini-trampoline was also called a rebounder. I've heard these things are pretty good, so I ordered one. Yep. I actually did. 

Anyway, after the kids went down I opened the box (actually, the husband did and set it all up) and started a little jumping and running in place. I'll simplify: I did some light jogging in place which turned into some basic bouncing (if I'm being honest - lol) and I only did it for like 20-25 minutes. Afterwards I went and checked my status, and I burned MORE calories doing that then when I was doing my brisk walk on the treadmill. WHO KNEW?!

So I'm super excited to be able to have this as an exercise resource. I plan on being on it when I watch my shows at night. But I'll have to work up my bounce time ... it's actually tougher than it looks!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Can you feel the BURN?

So I'm not even kidding when I say my new Body Bug Wannabe is totally and completely awesome. I LOVE it so much it's not even funny. And here's just one reason why: It shows me how TOTALLY OFF I can be on things. 

So right now my daily 'goal' for my calorie burn is 2500. (if I eat 1500 calories, then I have a deficit of 1000 calories. If I do that for 7 days, then my deficit is 7000 calories... which equals 2 lbs... pretty cool, right?) The first day I used the 'Bug', I ended the day just over 2500. (that was the day I went to the gym in the morning - but I didn't start using the Bug until the early afternoon... so I wasn't sure how accurate the total calorie burn was). Yesterday I didn't go to the gym, but I had a really busy day, and I burned over 2700 calories. So today I went to the gym and figured that I would have a super great day ...

... yeah... I'm thinking I should come in over 2500 ... but BARELY. It goes to show what my tendencies are. Because I 'worked out' this morning, I took it easy through out the day. Meaning, I let myself just sit and veg ... which resulted in less of a calorie burn that I thought. So it was SO GREAT that I had this Bug to let me know where I was at. It definitely made me get up and move around more so that I could be sure to hit my burn. 

And honestly, I want to up my calorie burn (if I do that I can up my caloric intake as well) and to do that, I need to exercise more. Which means I need to hit the treadmill more (which is my mode of choice right now). 

So that leaves to me my next question:

what's on your play list?

Obviously fast paced songs are nice - but I love listening to ANY song that just makes me happy, or so song that I love (even if it's slow!)

So here are my TOP 5 SONGS currently on my ipod:

'Bad Girl, Good Girl' by Miss A (don't be surprised if you haven't heard of it... it's a Korean thing)
'Raise Your Glass' by Pink
'Everybody Knows' by John Legend
'Last Kiss' by Taylor Swift
'Long Live' by Taylor Swift

Some of the songs are fast, and some slow - but they make me grin while I'm walking. Music is kinda like my placebo. When I listen to it I think I have more energy and I can exercise more. If I don't have music to listen to, I absolutely HATE exercising and it makes me mad, and then I quit. 

I guess I need to stick with the music, right? So do you have any favorite songs that I can add to my list? I'd love to hear what they are - so throw me a bone, I could really use it.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

another day...

... where I'm feeling good!

Okay, so this day was really weird, but it ended up good. First, I'm WAY under my calorie count. So much so, that I'm kind of worried that it could have a negative effect (which can happen - your body can 'hold on' to your weight because it thinks it's starving... which I actually think was my problem before... so I'm still working on finding that 'sweet spot). 

First, we woke up over an hour late. Which totally messed me up. I had a ton of stuff I needed to get done in the morning and so I was totally behind schedule from the get go. My breakfast consisted of a banana. Yeah... not good. I wasn't able to each lunch until the afternoon - and I still had a ton of things to do, so I hit the drive-thru and picked up my burritos (340 calories for 2) and I didn't feel guilty. I had the kids with me, and I was on a time crunch - and while I was able to feed them when I was home, I didn't have time to get my food ready. And going to Subway wasn't going to work because I literally did not have time to take both the kids in and out of the car. 

Once I got home, I had couple of snacks, and then made an egg white omelette (with no cheese) and veggies. Super low calorie count meal and also very filling. So here I am, WAY low on my calories, but I'm not hungry. So I decided to not eat just for the sake of eating. I'll make sure my calories are normal tomorrow, so again, I feel really good about everything. 

Also - the new arm band thingy is STILL super awesome. I love how it shows my calorie burn for the day. I'm seeing that I can reach my goal calorie burn without doing too much extra... so after tomorrow (I'm planning on going to the gym and just walking on the treadmill) I'll see what my burn is for day, and then make a new goal. 

So that's where I'm at - and I'm still really focused. Everything I do is to help me get to that 2lb weight loss at the end of the week. So here's to another day!

Monday, December 6, 2010

I'm feeling GOOD!

Today was a super great day for me. I don't know what it was, but I just felt really good. I was motivated and making good choices - and for the first time, it wasn't hard for me. I felt like snacking when I was waiting for my dinner to cook, so I walked out of the kitchen and sat on the couch with a bottle of water. Simple as that. 

My attitude felt different today too. I was excited. I felt like I was on a mission: to lose those last 2 pounds. I even went to the gym. No kidding! It was the first time I've left my son in any sort of child care since coming home, but his sister was with him and he did great (plus, I was only on the treadmill for 30 minutes).

And because of my good mood, I also finally got around to setting this thing up:


This is the 'body bug' type thing I got. It's not an actual Body Bug. But it's called 'Body Media' or something like that. I think it's made by the same company that makes the Body Bug. But it totally doesn't matter to me because THIS.THING.IS.AWESOME.

There are many things it can do (like track your calorie consumption and your sleep patterns) but the most important things to me, is that it gives you a daily 'goal' of what your calorie burn should be. And then it tracks your information and tells you how much you burned! AWESOME! It also tracks how much physical exercise you did and how many steps you took. (each of those also have a designated 'goal')

I won't lie - it's definitely an investment, but for me, it's well worth it. In fact, there's one more piece that I need. It's the 'display'  - which syncs the info on your arm band to the 'display' so that you don't have to stop and hook up the armband to your computer. So you can just check the 'display' to see what your current stats are. Can you say fabulous?

So that was my today. Came in under my calorie count and totally motivated for tomorrow (I just hope I wake up with the same mindset). I really want to blow these last 2 pounds out of the water. So that's my mission. And once I accomplish that, I'll set a new one. And I'll just keep going until I finally hit my goal. Yeah ... that's how it's going to work. 

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Accomplishments Anyone?

Yeah! Another week is gone which I find to be absolutely fabulous. I kinda can't believe that three weeks have already passed since I started this whole thing. And do you know what else it hard to believe? 


I lost another

2 lbs!

I need to be honest - it's kind of a shady two pounds. I weighed myself a couple of times this morning and it was teetering between 1.5 and 2 pounds. But since I actually saw the 2 pound loss on the scale, I'm going with it. Plus, it'll just keep me that much more motived for this coming week. Because if I can lose 2 more pounds, then I'll have lost 10 pounds this month! Isn't that crazy?! I think it is. And the good news for me, is that there isn't any holidays or birthdays this week, so I should be able to stick to the plan the entire time. Who knows, I may get super inspired and even go to the gym. Now that would be crazy.

So enough about me - what about you? What do you have to share with me this week? There has to be something!

Oh - one more thing... tonight is the first night I didn't eat any sort of dessert or treat. I wasn't hungry, so I didn't do it. And yes, I think I'm pretty cool right now.


Saturday, December 4, 2010

Wow... it's that time again

I have to say, this week has gone by incredibly fast for me. I don't know why, but it seemed to just FLY by! After my 'corn incident' from yesterday, I decided to really watch what I'm doing today. In the morning I took my daughter to see Tangled (which is absolutely fabulous by the way) and I packed my own snacks. Which I have to say, that's a HUGE step for me as I'm one of those people who loved to get popcorn at the theater (yes I know, that stuff is horrible for you...). Then in the afternoon, we had a sitter while the husband and I finished up some Christmas shopping and just some 'regular' shopping as well. We also went out to dinner. I did a lot of thinking about what would be the best choice, so last night, I started looking up the nutritional values at different restaurants. So we ended up going to California Pizza Kitchen and I got a 'half' portion of the Chinese Chicken Salad. It comes in at 372 calories (or something like that). I also ordered it with the dressing on the side. I would just slightly dip my fork in the dressing before I took a bite of salad. It worked out great, and I had at least half of the dressing left when I was finished. So I take that as another accomplishment. 

Anyway, enough of that. I started looking around for new clothing for the 'closet' and I'm not finding anything that I totally love... or 'right click'.  So I settled on this little number from Anthropology:


I would pair it with a 'multi-strap' high heeled Mary Jane

I wish I had a picture, but I just thought of that shoe right now
and I'm too tired to look for one. 

Okay, so I just felt guilty, so here's one:

these are by Christian Louboutin
(which means they are so far out of my budget it's not even funny)


Okay, I think I'm headed to bed. 
Here's to another happy weigh in!


Friday, December 3, 2010

Ugh... I did it again...

I over ate. This time it was corn. Totally not joking. I did really good all day - was even under my calorie count. And then the husband came home from work (he worked late, so it was like 9:30p) I'm chatting on skype with a girlfriend and then all of the sudden I smell some deliciousness coming from the kitchen. The husband decided to make Minestrone Soup - from scratch. (he's pretty cool like that) So I go in there and we start chatting about our days. Then I notice that there's all this left over corn from dinner. So like a fool I decide to eat it. All of it. And it.was.alot.

I think I heard some where (or maybe it was just in my brain) that eating vegetable calories isn't a big deal. Which now as I'm writing this, I think there's folly to that thought as a calorie is a calorie. But whatever. The point is that I ate too much corn. But before that registered in my brain I decided that instead of doing my usual grape popsicle and dark chocolate snack, I want an apple and a 'Laughing Cow' cheese wedge. So I'm probably about half way through my apple slices and I realize that I'm really full. So I stop eating my cheese and apples and feel kind of 'eh' again. 

But then I see the vanilla tootsie rolls that I bought on my birthday and ask the Husband what the calorie count is on those babies. 140 for 6. So while I'm trying to do the math in my head on what they are per piece, the husband just says, 'so you can have 3 for 70 calories'. 

um... SOLD!

So I took my tootsie rolls and am now sitting on the couch, logging my update, feeling like every inch of my body is filled with corn (with the exception of 2.5 tootsie rolls) and wishing that I would have shown a little restraint with my corn consumption. I mean, how desperate do you have to be to over-dose on corn. Ugh.

I keep noticing that the last .5 of the last vanilla tootsie roll is staring at me. So now I shall complete my gluttony for the evening and devour that piece in private. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Birthday Reflections

Today I turned 35. Well, at least I'm pretty sure that I'm 35. I was adopted from South Korea and supposedly a note with my name and birthday was pinned to me when they found me at a train station. But recently I heard that there is always the possibility that it might not be true. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, maybe I should just start telling people that I'm 27. I know, I'm smoking my crack pipe.

One things for certain, I had a really good day today. I had Korean food. And a big kudos to me, I didn't finish all my rice! This was not a conscious decision, I just ate what ever I wanted and when I was done, I realized that there was still rice left in the bowl! Big whoo-hoo for me. 

I didn't eat breakfast this morning (I know, that's a bad thing) because I knew I was having a big lunch. I shared some Bulgogi and Japchae (the first is marinated beef and the second is a noodle dish). The servings were really big and I probably ate almost half of the Bulgogi and 1/3 to maybe 1/2 of the Japchae. (now watch, those were actually servings for 4) And of course I got my kimchee and bean sprout side dishes. SO DELICIOUS!

It was definitely the most I've had to eat in one sitting in over 2 weeks. It tasted so good, but afterwards I felt kinda... eh. I just felt like I over-ate. Which I think is a good thing. It goes to show that I'm used to smaller portions. 

Oh - and I decided to go with this:

Tyra Banks tells the models-in-training on ANTM
that they need to smile with their eyes.

can you tell my eyes are smiling?
(and they're open really wide - I wanted to make sure you could see them)

and just so you know - I didn't eat the whole bag
(someone else ate 3 of them)

dude - that was the best alternative to cake EVER!


But tomorrow it's back to normal. And if I'm being honest, I'm actually looking forward to it. It's nice to have these days of splurges, but I'm starting to see how they negatively effect me. Like, I don't 'feel' the same way I used to when I would eat (which would calm me down, or relax me) as now it makes me feel a bit gross. Which I totally take as a good thing. It's nice to have that 'reminder' of what I'm not missing.

Looks like we'll be having some rain for the next few days. Which bums me out because believe it or not, I'm in the mood to take a walk.  I know, what's happening to me, right?!

This past year has been pretty darn incredible in many ways - but namely, it was the year that my son came home to us. It was also the year that I visited the country of my birth for the first time since leaving. And while life is never perfect per say, I have to admit that life is definitely good. I feel like I'm at a really good place with things: I see what I need to work on, and I have a plan. I'm so looking forward to this year, and seeing what it has in store. And of course I'm looking forward to my 'finish line', which is a year from today. If I get there before, that would be completely amazing, but regardless of how little or much progress I make, I will celebrate it. Because no matter what, I'll be making a change for the better. And that's a really good thing.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

okay... I'm in need of some ideas

Today was one of those days where I had NO idea what to eat. My regular 'go to' meals weren't available as I was missing an ingredient here, or some main component there... and it was just frustrating. 

And because I was frustrated, I began to think about food. Like how wonderful it would be to just eat a sandwich and fries at a restaurant... or a milkshake and a cheeseburger.

But of course I didn't, and I still stayed within my calorie count of the day. So while that was good, I'm still feeling a bit frustrated at the loss of variety. Usually I can eat the same thing over and over and be fine, but I guess I'm needing a bit of a change up. 

So do any of you have any suggestions for low calorie meals? Preferably meals that make me feel like I'm eating a ton of food  (ha ha!)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

sorry but ...

... I'm kinda busy watching my shows tonight. Tuesday has some good TV.

So I'm gonna make this quick. Today was a good day. Came in under my target calories and I'm feeling good.

Okay, back to my regularly scheduled program.

Monday, November 29, 2010

wow ... I even surprised myself

My calorie count was way on the low side today as I ended up eating some super low calorie meals (like egg white omelets, and a little spelt 'taco' of sorts) so I allowed myself to have some bigger snacks. One of which, was my evening treat. I've allowed myself to have 2 squares of Lindt Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt each night. I literally eat the squares by taking super small bites and sucking out every ounce of flavor that I possibly can. Not even kidding. It lasts longer that way. 

Anyway, since I had my edible calorie surplus tonight, I decided to really treat myself and have FOUR squares of chocolate. I just finished eating them a little bit ago and honestly, I kinda feel a bit sick. It was too much. Can you believe that? I actually think I ate TOO MUCH chocolate. What is happening to me?! 

But not to worry, I still have my sweet tooth. In fact, I started doing some calculations. Since my birthday is rapidly approaching, I started thinking about what I'm going to celebrate with (like... what kind of cake or treat will I be shoving into my mouth on my special day). There is a bakery down the street from my house that makes the most delectable lemon souffle cake I've ever tasted in my entire life. So I have to admit that the thought did cross my mind that maybe I should buy an entire cake for me to consume by myself ... but then I moved on. (I know, a big whew, right?!) My favorite cake flavor is actually good old basic 'white' cake with chocolate frosting ... so that was considered as well. And then I figured it out. 

I love cheesecake. In fact, my favorite is the Vanilla Bean Cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. So I looked up the calories in that and guess what, it's over 800 calories PER SLICE. So I figure - SWEET, that's a huge calorie tradeoff for something. And I found the most perfect thing to trade it with. 

Trader Joe's has these Peppermint Pretzel Thins that are absolutely amazing. They're these super thin pretzels that are dipped in white chocolate and sprinkled with peppermint bits. Heaven in every bite. And the only reason I know is because after I passed by them on two separate trips (passed by as in I only stared at them, I didn't touch the bag), the husband decided to buy them on our last trip there. And who am I to deny my husband, right? (and of course I ate one - and ONLY one - I swear!)

A bag of those babies weigh in at a whopping 800+ calories ... and seriously, I think they have almost the exact the same calorie equivalent as the cheesecake. So doesn't logic say I can have the entire bag of those things instead of eating a single slice of Cheesecake?

... please say yes ... please say yes ... please say yes ...

So I'm still deciding what I'm actually going to do ... but I kinda want to be gluttonous and eat the whole bag. Which I know I'll end up looking like some crack addict taking secret hits from the bag when I think no-one is looking. But .... maybe that's a risk I'm willing to take. 


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Accomplishments Anyone?

I can't believe it's already been a week. Seriously. But as they say ... time marches on ... whether we do or not. 

So does anyone have anything fun to share? Anyone? Yeah? No? Hello?


So here's the dealio on me:


I lost another

2 lbs!!!


And I will most definitely take it. I was a bit afraid that I would actually gain some this week, so I was actually hoping to break even, so the fact that I still lost something ... a big whoop-de-do for me!

So it's back to the old routine now, and I'm totally cool with it. Although my birthday actually falls during this week and I'm planning on eating some Korean food to celebrate. So again ... I'm going to enjoy it, but just jump back into the plan the next day. 

Okay, so that's that. Time to get some shut eye. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Back to Reality

I know I didn't go into too much detail last night as I was beyond exhaustion, but I think I came in under my calorie count. When I left to go Black Friday shopping, I armed myself with some pre-measured almonds in a bag and a fruit bar (which is 50 calories). I put those in my purse and I actually didn't snack on them at all while I was gone. There was a breakfast break at IHOP, but I ordered a veggie omelet from their 'Fit' menu and supposedly it had 320 calories. I say supposedly because I just don't trust restaurants like that. I mean, I'm sure it was made in butter or oil, etc... 

I was really full from that and ended up just having an early dinner... so again, I think I came in under my calories for the day, but I'm not sure. OH! How could I forget?! I ordered a 'Body Bug' type thing (it's not an actual Body Bug but its made by the makers of Body Bug) and it just arrived a few days ago. I still have to charge it, but once I do, then I can start wearing it and REALLY get down to business. I'm super excited about it. 

But enough of that. This is my day to post new clothes for my virtual closet. The other day in preparation, I went to Carolina Herrera's website to check out her latest line. I love her designs and she's been a favorite designer of mine for quite some time. Her formal wear is what I like most. It's very feminine and beautiful. 

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I went to check out her Spring 2011 and it has KOREAN influences! So crazy! I tried to 'right click' the photos so I could show you, but of course it was impossible. So go check out the line when you get the chance. Overall it isn't my favorite, but there are some cool pieces. 

But I did find this little number at modcloth.com



and I'm thinking that I'd try to sport that whole
black tights with black shoes look.

which means I would most definitely 
have to pick up these Jimmie Choos


alright ... I have to go do my 'last chance workout'. 

just kidding

I'm not at that point yet. 

But I am ready to go to bed. 
So off I go!

Friday, November 26, 2010

must ... get ... sleep

I'm beat ... here's why:
  • went to bed at 11pm and woke up every hour on the hour as either my daughter or my son would wake up crying.
  • finally got up at 3:25am
  • left the house for Black Friday shopping at 3:35am
  • drank caffeine 
  • came back from shopping but decided to NOT take a nap
  • 2:30p had pictures taken for Christmas
  • 4:30p had an early dinner
  • 6:30p crashed on couch
  • 9:30p just woke up but feel like I've been hit by a truck because I'm still so tired

So with that, I'm out. Today my calories were under, but they were all wonky. I'll explain tomorrow. I feel like it's too much work for my brain right now. 

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Let's Do it!

Today was really great. Especially considering my night was super not. My son decided that he didn't want to sleep for the majority of the night. I have NO CLUE what was going on ... maybe some late 'grieving', I don't know. But it was super lame for me. (he's totally fine now, so no worries!)

I ate one plateful (and I mean plateful) of Thanksgiving deliciousness. I didn't feel guilty and I enjoyed every bite. Although I have to say that my consumption speed was slower than normal as I had to feed an impatient little boy who was sitting next to me in his high chair. After the meal was all said and done my Mom said that was the worst Thanksgiving meal that she has ever eaten. She thought the turkey was rubbery and the stuffing was burnt. I thought the turkey was great and I actually enjoy things 'crispy' so it didn't phase me in the slightest. And I definitely told her so. Maybe my lack of eating 'comfort food' has altered my perception of tasty goodness, but I thought it tasted pretty darn good. 

For dessert I had a half slice of Apple Pie and a half slice of Pumpkin Pie (so I would think I was only having one piece of pie) with just a little dab of vanilla bean ice cream. Oh yeah, I also had a super small mint brownie. 

Okay. So that was a lot of food. But it was fun, I thoroughly enjoyed it, but as I said before, I'm REALLY glad that I'm getting back to my 'new/normal' eating habits. I didn't drink nearly enough water and I saw how easily it was for me to lose any sense of self control when I started heaping piles of food onto my plate. So again, it just confirmed that I have a long ways to go, but at the same time, I didn't feel guilty.  I went into this day knowing and allowing myself to have this day to eat. 

My plan of attack for tomorrow is to not only make good/healthy food choices, but I'm going to burn some of those calories I consumed with some Black Friday SHOPPING!

Oh yeah ... here I come! So I gotta get to bed ... 3:30am is going to come way sooner than I think!


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

a girl with a plan

I'm super tired tonight, so this is going to be short and sweet. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I've got a plan.

I decided that I want to enjoy this day of super delicious food. To me, it's ONE day. And if you break it down, it's ONE meal ... okay, so maybe two ... and I am not going to be eating like this on a regular basis. So I decided that I'm going to eat a really 'clean' breakfast, drink plenty of water throughout the day, and just enjoy this day of feasting. I want to say that I'm just going to indulge myself since I have two full days before I have to weigh in again, but you know what? Just thinking that my 4lb weight loss could disappear before my eyes has me a bit concerned ...

So I guess I'll just have to see what happens tomorrow. No matter what, I want to enjoy the food portion of the day, but know that I will go back to cutting out those high calorie foods the next day.

Hope you all have a super great and happy Thanksgiving!!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

It's Getting Easier

Last night I got an email on Facebook from my old college room mate. We only live about 45 minute apart from each other, but for some reason it's always hard for us to get together. She had a few days off and wanted to know if I had any time to hang out. I happened to have this morning 'open' so I offered for them to come to my house and the girls could play (she has a daughter who's just a couple of months older than mine) and we could chat, and then have lunch. 

For the first time it was super easy to make good choices. My frig was stocked with healthy choices and so I made us my favorite salad. I made lunch for the kiddos and I wasn't tempted to eat any of the 'veggie chips' that I gave them, or the low fat cookies. I feel like things are starting to become a 'habit' or maybe I should even use the term 'lifestyle change'. 

I don't know what it is, but this time is so different from the other times I've tried to lose weight. I'm not stressed about it, and I'm sticking to it. It doesn't seem hard at this point. Don't get me wrong, I know there will be tough days ahead, but I feel like there's less pressure.

This time around there are no insane expectations or restrictions. I still 'treat' myself every day, but this time it's controlled and I'm not just letting myself eat what ever I want. 

and I have to say. It feels really good.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Spelt ... know what it is?

Today was my field trip to Trader Joes. First off, my TJ has the most HORRIBLE parking lot. It's almost enough to make me NOT want to go. But of course I 'bucked up' and went anyway (with both kiddos in tow). I don't know if this is normal or not, but it was packed. Not sure if was the break in the rain we've been having, or the fact that it's just a few days before Thanksgiving, but the ambiance was not conducive to browsing the shelves and reading labels. Thankfully my girlfriend knew where all the good stuff was located so we were able to navigate the crowds and get out of there without too much of a hassle. 

Right now the batteries in my camera are dead, so tomorrow I'll post some photos of what I got. But for now, I will say that I did buy a single serving of Greek Yogurt and tomorrow I am mustering up the courage to try it. I have no idea why I'm so scared of the stuff, but for some reason I am. So I'll be sure to let you know what I think of it. 

Oh - and Spelt ... I got some tortillas made of Spelt. Not something I would ever buy on my own accord, but since I haven't eaten bread of any sort for over a week, I have to say, they tasted rather good. I took a spelt tortilla, added a few black beans, a few little pinches of rice, a slight dash of cheese, and thin slices of cucumber and tomato. I actually ate two of them. The calorie count was high because of the tortillas are 120 calories each. Oh - and I ate 2 of them. It was really filling (which is what I was going for) and then I had that meal again at dinner. 

I still did well with my calories for the day (despite the double high calorie meal) but learned that eating too many beans isn't good for my system. And I'll just leave it at. 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Accomplishments Anyone?



It's Sunday night. 
Time to check in. 
Feel free to post ANY accomplishment you had this past week. 

did you make some 'healthy' choices?
did you do an extra set of reps in your workout?
did you pass on that piece of chocolate cake?

what ever it is, feel free to share!

because you know what I get to share this week?

...

...

...

...

wait for it

...

...

...

...

here it comes

...

...

...

...

I  LOST  4LBS!!!

yeah, so I'm pretty much stoked right now.
granted, I'm pretty sure it's just my bloat that I lost
since my salty snack & soda intake basically disappeared

but I'll take it!

(and now to keep the momentum going)

so share your accomplishments with me
so I can be inspired!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Kimchee & Visualization



So I've read about the benefits of eating kimchee awhile ago and I do enjoy eating it. Which is actually kind of surprising considering I've always hated spicy food. Even now, I can't stand salsa that ranks higher than 'mild' and even then, some milds are a bit too much for me to handle. But I can handle kimchee. Or at least I try to to. I usually eat it by diluting the spiciness with rice, but I'll willingly try and consume it by arming myself with a big glass of water. 

The other weird effect that kimchee has on me, is that I'll actually crave it. Again. I find that strange. 

So today I decided to head out in the rain and make a trip across town (about 35-40 minutes each way) to get some kimchee from this little 'Mom & Pop' Korean Shop that I was introduced to. The husband has to work this weekend, so I figured it was a good way to waste some time. 


I bought the regular 'cabbage' variety and I also picked up a jar of the daikon radish kimchee (which is actually my favorite) but after tasting them both, I actually think I prefer the cabbage batch this time around.

When I got back home, it was also lunch time, so I decided to splurge and have a full cup of cooked rice (and yes, I tried to smash as much rice into that measuring cup as I possible could ... like ... I actually used my hand to smash it in) to accompany my new delightful side dish. And ohhh, was it fabulous!

But I did discover two things:
1) I don't need a full cup of rice. I can easily be satisfied with a 1/2 cup (but I'll probably still do my 'smashing' technique, so maybe it IS more equal to a full cup ...)
2) I felt full and satisfied (at this point I had only consumed about half of my rice portion)

I had already started cooking my lunch (which was a bunch of roasted veggies with turkey) so of course I couldn't let it go to waste, but I did make a mental note that a half cup of rice with kimchee would be a fabulous snack that I think I'll have probably once a day. I really want to get in the habit of having daily kimchee consumption. Here's just one of many articles that talk about some of the benefits. You can find that article HERE


And now to transition to something altogether different. 

I've heard that you should 'visualize' yourself achieving your goals. Something about that helps you make them a reality (at least I think that's what I was told). So I decided that every Saturday night I'm going to post something that I want to wear when I reach my goal weight. I actually love fashion and one of the biggest frustrations in being fat is that I cannot take part in that hobby. Instead, I'm left to live vicariously through my daughter who has the exact opposite problem as me. She needs to gain weight. Granted, while most of the clothing that's available in children's sizes isn't what I dream about wearing, I do find great pleasure in picking out fun clothes for her. 

But of course I'd rather be picking out clothes for me.

So I did. Here is a little dress that I found at Banana Republic that I would love to wear.



I love the simplicity of the dress, but also the little somethin' somethin' around the neckline. So this will be the first addition to my 'skinny closet' that will exist only in my mind. Because if I'm being honest, by the time I reach my goal weight, I'm going to want to get something new. 


Friday, November 19, 2010

the 'Honeymoon' is apparently over

Okay, so I have LOVED getting all the feedback and ideas from everyone this week. It has been such a huge form of encouragement and has made this week pretty bearable. 

And then there was tonight. 

But don't start groaning for me yet, I haven't made any 'poor choices', but gosh, I am soooo having a mental war with myself. First, I should explain something about me. I am an emotional eater. If there is a reason to celebrate, you better believe I'll 'treat' myself with food. If I'm sad and upset, food is my source of comfort. Bored? I'll mindlessly snack on something. 

I have friends, when they are in need of a  'stress reliever',  choose to run. RUN! Why can't I be like that? Believe it or not, when I'm stressed and I eat, I can actually feel my blood pressure coming down. I can feel a sense of calmness come over me as I enjoy something that tastes good in my mouth. I know, sounds totally crazy right?

Anyway, tonight I got the kids to bed earlier than normal and the husband was working late and believe it or not, I was bored. I fed the kids around 5pm and I ate then too... so now it was over three hours later and I just wanted to eat. Heck - I would have eaten an entire bag of steamed peas, but I knew those were calories that I shouldn't eat... and I didn't need. It was so frustrating. I literally had to ban myself from the kitchen because I would just walk around looking at things I could shove into my mouth. 

I drank water, but I was still obsessing. And honestly, even as I write this now, I still want to eat. But thankfully I have this blog as my accountability. If I didn't, I know I'd be eating something right now. 

*big, BIG sigh*

So on that note, I think I shall go to bed. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I can have breakfast.