awwww yeah

Did it. Laundry was put away and the 'extra' clothes folded and put in the bin. Feels pretty darn good. But I'm SUPER tired tonight. So I'm headed to bed. But real quick, the goal for tomorrow:

STRAIGHTEN UP THE PLAYROOM

I know that these past few goals seem more 'result oriented' vs the 'performance' kind, but because I can 'see' what needs to be done, I know it's not that daunting. It's not like I can break them down super far. Like the playroom - it's basically just picking up a few things, putting them in the bins that are already up there, and basic straightening. I don't have to re-organize things, or come up with storage solutions. So that helps a ton. 

Alright. Well... I guess that's it. Hope you all had a great Memorial Day weekend!

Accomplishments Anyone?

It's Monday again! So what are you all proud of accomplishing?! For me - it's that I finished yet ANOTHER task! I got all the kids' laundry done, folded and {mostly} put away. There was a ton to do, but I did get all of the boy's stuff folded, hung or put away in his drawers. The husband was able to get me a new bin to put the overflow of clothes in, but I wasn't able to get to that. My daughter's clothes were all washed and sorted. I still have to hang up and put some stuff away. But it's out of the playroom - so that's good.  So that makes my next task:

FINISH PUTTING AWAY DAUGHTER'S CLOTHES

& FINISH SORTING  {AND STORING} 

EXTRA CLOTHES FOR THE BOY

Even though tomorrow is a Holiday - the husband has to work. Kind of a bummer as it would  have been nice to have uninterrupted time to bang out this task... but I guess I'll have to get creative. I mean, I can do the stuff in my daughter's room while the boy sleeps... and I can finish the stuff in the boy's room when the husband gets home. So I guess that wasn't too difficult to figure out after all. 

So what did you accomplish this past week? What are you stoked to have gotten done? I know there has to be something. So start sharing away!

I thought we were practically in Summer?

I mean... there are only 3 more days until June... one would think that it's practically Summer - right?! So what's up with the rain?! So annoying. Especially when we were planning on going to a Greek Festival. Oh well... I guess that means no loukoumades for me (which is probably a good thing).

But guess what - I totally got my task done today! I have Pink's 'greatest hits' CD, so I took that upstairs and just started on the clothes. It was great because I really got to organize everything. I took out all the smaller clothes, folded all the clothes that were in the bin and hung everything up. I did find that I need another bin, so that's on the 'To Do' for tomorrow. Which I guess brings me to my next task:

FOLD ALL LAUNDRY IN THE PLAYROOM

(AND WASH/FOLD ALL THE KIDS CLOTHES)

So basically what's going on is that I have a ton of clean laundry in the playroom on the bed that's in there. And since the dresser and closet in the boy's room is all clean now, I have plenty of room to put everything away. I also have a ton of the kid's laundry that needs to be done. So that's my task for tomorrow. Get all of their laundry done and put away.

I'm really liking this 'one task thing'. For reals. It seems so simple, and when I accomplish it, I really do feel good. It's a good feeling. Oh - and the couch is still looking good. My daughter kept her end of the bargin today and her little things stayed in her little basket on the couch, and now there are just a couple of things to take off of it before I got to bed. Lovely. So on that note, I shall now go to bed.

SUCCESS {finally}

Today turned into another busy day, but I accomplished my task and I feel pretty darn good about it. I'm sitting here, on my couch, and it's TOTALLY cleaned off. Well, I guess not totally. I have a 'tray' in the corner of the sectional right next to me. On top of that I have a box of tissues (which we use a lot actually), the remotes, and my drink. other than that, there's just a few couch pillows. I actually have a ton of pillows, but I stacked the extras at the end of the couch on the floor. 

I have to say - I love it. I'm SO glad that I finally got it done! I was talking to one of my girlfriend's on the phone and I thought to myself, 'just start cleaning the couch. now is the perfect time' - and it turns out it was. By chit-chatting with my friend, I didn't think about how annoying this job usually is. 

I didn't get my daughter's room done, but we did get a small toy box for it where she can stash all her 'special' toys. I told her that from now on, she has to keep all her special stuff in there. She can bring a few items down during the day (and I have a special container for her to put those items in) but when it's time to go to bed, she has to take everything back up stairs. She agreed to the plan, so we'll see how tomorrow pans out.

so my next task will be:

PUT CLOTHES AWAY IN THE BOY'S ROOM

I started switching out my son's clothes a few weeks ago. He was at that annoying stage where the current size was getting too small, but the next size up was slightly too big. Some items needed to be switched out, while others could still stay. The project was started, but never finished. But now it's very clear that he's in the next size up, so it really is time to put the 'old' size away. So that's what I want to do. It shouldn't take long. For reals. I already have a bin in his closet that contains clothes that are 'too small' - so I have what I need. 

I'm ready to bust this out. So wish me luck that I'll get it done... or at least not take 3 days like last time.

um... yeah.

Today didn't go how we expected. I'll just leave it at that. So my couch is still the same. But tomorrow - is the day. For reals. And I'm adding one more item - my daughter's room. There's not that much to do in there, and I've been looking forward to tackling that. 

I gotta get to bed as I'm SUPER tired, but I'm looking forward to checking in tomorrow night - as I PROMISE that there will be progress. I know you don't believe me, but I guess that means you'll just have to check back and see.

Don't Hate Me

But my task didn't get done. 

But I've got a good reason. I'm in San Francisco right now. Turns out my travel buddy who went to Korea with me back in October, ran into some travel issues as she's trying to make her way around the world to get to {my} Motherland. I can't imagine something more frustrating than finally being able to go pick up your child in Korea and then have your flights canceled due to weather.

All of her luggage (which was an insane amount due to the fact that she was bringing a  TON of donations to the adoption agency) was tagged to go straight to Korea. Fortunately she had some spare stuff with them, but there were a few things that she needed. So of course I decided to pack up the fam and head on out to the big city. 

Since I knew I was going to lose some work time, I had to focus on getting my orders done before anything else. I have to start shipping orders tomorrow, so I needed to get as much done as possible. So that's why it didn't get done. I was seriously planning on doing it after the kiddos went to bed. But tomorrow I'll be able to do it once we get home as the husband has the next few days off. I have big plans for the next few days. No lists, but general ideas, and some single tasks. Mix it all together with me and the husband,  and I hope to get some good results. We shall see... we shall see. 

But now, I'm headed to bed. I'm zonked and in the morning we have a breakfast date with my friend. Hope you all had a good day!

My 'To Do' List

Alright.

It's time.

Let's do this. 

My item to do is:

CLEAN OFF THE COUCH

I know, it seems like such an easy task. That's probably because it is. My couch is a medium sized sectional. My daughter likes to accumulate all the toys that she doesn't want her brother touching on the couch... behind some cushions. So I've taken a box and thrown them all in there. But her pile still grows. In fact, looking at her 'end' of the couch, I'm seeing 3 different costumes, a backpack, and a frog towel. Oh - and some binoculars... Connect Four and a hair brush. On the other end of the couch (as of course I sit in the middle) I see a bunch of pillows, some blankets... and even though I can't see it, I know that under a pillow I have a stack of magazines. Maybe some mail... a pair of kid shoes... and who knows what else. 

I think this is a good start for me. It's not overwhelming, but it's something that needs to be done. I'm looking around and I feel like it's soooo doable. And it's not going to take that long to do. So I can do this. I want to do this.  And I'm ready. 

So bring it. 

 

The Kids Are Back

I missed them. Really. I did. But I did really enjoy my time alone. And now that I know that the boy does fine when he spends the night away from us... well, I feel like my whole world  has just opened up. Like I can run slowly through a field of daisies yelling 'I'm free! I'm free!' (but who am I kidding - we both know I can't run). 

So the week is here is and it's time to start working on stuff again. I'm actually still working on orders, as they're taking me longer than I expected. But those should be done in the next few days, and then the husband has 4 days off starting Thursday. So I'm thinking that we'll start to attack some of the house projects together.

It's late and I'm actually pretty tired. So I'm going to head to bed. But starting with my next post, I'm going to post my one 'To Do List' item. So if any of you want to play along - maybe you'll be willing to post your item too. How about it? Are you in?

Accomplishments Anyone?

Just got back from Korean food and a movie since we are sans children tonight. So much fun! But now I'm exhausted and I'm looking forward to really sleeping in.

Since I haven't been to good at keeping to my 'regularly scheduled program' - I thought I'd remind everyone to share their accomplishments this week with me. I'd LOVE to hear them and get excited over all that you guys do. So share away - I look forward to reading them!

Tired Again

Nice day today. I went to another Adoption Picnic and had a ton of fun chattin' it up with the families there. I was pretty tired when I got home (as were the kiddos) so we just kinda did nothing the rest of the day. Tomorrow the kids are going with the Grandparents, so I'll have time to get some orders done (I just finished up a big promotion) so that's what I got planned. 

Nothing too exciting, but I'm kinda looking forward to having some 'alone time to work'. Who am I kidding. I'm a lot excited.

Just Another Day

I started my task today. I noticed that when I actually got working on it, that the task was comprised of many small ones. So it got kinda tough for me. But I did accomplish something. I still need to focus on that 'wanting' thing. It's amazing how much I 'resist' things. I'm just more aware of it now so I get bothered with myself. The inner struggle. Lovely.

And just to clarify, this 'DR' stuff doesn't affect how I take care of my kids. For reals. So I don't want people thinking that my kids are being neglected because they SO aren't. I think what makes a big difference is that I want to take care of them. I enjoy it, so it's not a burden to me. 

I read that some DR people can't hold jobs because they resist doing what their bosses ask of them. I was never like that (thank goodness) and I really do enjoy my work, so again, I'm super happy that stuff isn't effected either.

Anyway, I guess that's just some thoughts about today. Nothing too interesting. Anyone have any fun plans for the weekend? I'm going to an Adoption Picnic tomorrow and I get to hang out with some super fun people - I can hardly wait!

This is Going to be Harder Than I Thought

So this morning I got up, started my day ... and WOW. It was a tough day. First off, the husband told me last night that my list was too long. But I was like, 'no way! it's totally not. I have it totally broken down to simple tasks, so it's no big deal.'

Was I ever wrong. I knew I had this list that I needed to accomplish and it started to weigh on me. So true to form, I started working on other things, or found a ton of important phone calls I needed to make, and emails to return. Pretty soon I ran out of random things to do, so I turned on a CD and sat in my office. I knew the first thing on the list was to 'put my fabric away' as I have bolts of fabric that needed a home in my fabric shelf. (notice I didn't actually read the list... first mistake...) 

As I sat in front of my fabric shelf, I saw a small stack of papers, some letters, a magazine... and slowly I sorted the items and made some more space for me. I then picked up the magazine and started to leaf through some of the pages, reading some tidbits here and there and then I realized what I was doing. (I think that's the interesting thing about now being aware of your 'behaviors'... things you never gave a second thought about, now scream in your face that it's not right). I tossed the magazine to the side and began to organize the bolts of fabric. Once I finished that, I even sorted a bunch of 'faux flowers' and straightened up a large shelf next to the fabric. I had definitely made a bit of progress and was happy with that, but then I turned around. I still have some medium-sized bins filled with supplies that sit on the floor. I'm not sure where I'll put those items, and I've 'told myself' that everything MUST have a place. So my eyes scan to the other side of the room where I see bins of other random supplies (pre-cut fabric, ribbon, shipping labels, tissue...) and my heart begins to beat faster. In my brain, this begins to turn into a big task... and I start to feel overwhelmed and I need to leave the room.

Instead of being able to break down what needs to be done in the office (or simply looking at my list and picking a different specific task) I just walk away. I start thinking about all that I need to do and I feel stuck. I feel stressed, but I can't put my finger on the exact reason why. It's not like I'm saying to myself, 'I don't want to clean this!' but it's like I just can't get myself to do it. Then I rationalize why I should just take a break... or check and see if that email came in that I'm waiting on, or go see how the kids are doing (as the sitter came to help out today).

But now I can recognize that those behaviors that I exhibited today, are not the behaviors that I'm after. I'm trying to really pay attention to my 'triggers' and how I'm feeling, and why I'm feeling the way I do. And when I'm feeling weak, I lean on my support. I called the husband at work and just told him that I was frustrated because I was having a hard time. Basically, I had set some 'expectations' of myself that I wanted to achieve today, and I couldn't handle the pressure of it. And honestly - it's embarrassing to me that I can't seem to accomplish these simple tasks. But the husband is wonderful. He's patient, he's understanding, he listens, and he's empathetic. And boy - do I love him! He asked me what I had gotten done and after I told him, he said that he thought I did a really good job, and that I shouldn't feel bad because I had gotten something done (and when he got home he told me that he could totally tell a difference in the office - that made me smile).

I also spoke to my BFF and she just knows how to encourage me! She reminded me that it took me YEARS to get this point, so I can't expect to 'fix it' in a matter of 2 days. She said that I need to scrap my list and have ONE thing on it - or only 'organize' for 30 minutes (which is funny because I was actually joking to another friend that I my 'To Do Lists' will probably have to be one item long)

Anyway... that's the glimpse into how my day went today. Tomorrow is a new day, and in the morning, I shall pick a task to complete. I want to accomplish that task, and I really do believe that I can. As the husband told me this evening, 'it's all about baby steps, and you're doing it!' 

(did I mention that I soooooo love the husband?!?!)

The Road to Recovery

Okay - so I want to talk about a couple of things. 

1) If you do any kind of 'research' on DR (Demand Resistance) one of the main 'causes' cited, is due to over bearing parents with unrealistic expectations of their children. I really want to clarify that I do not believe for ONE MINUTE that is true in my case. I have talked to my parents very openly as to why I think I am the way I am, and I know they understand and believe my thought process on this. I just feel really strongly that I do not want anyone to assume things about my parents or my situation that are obviously not true. (I'm not saying that anyone IS thinking bad things, but I just want to cover my bases and put up my disclaimer as I love my parents very much.)

2) I kinda can't remember what I wanted my second point to be. Oh well. (I guess that's what you get when you're trying to do a blog post and watch your DVR'd 'Chopped' episode at the same time ...)

Oh - and something I learned today. The way my DR manifests itself through my 'hoarding' isn't what you'd think. I guess when I think of a typical 'hoarder', I think of someone who 'collects'. They save things, or buy compulsively. Granted, I can buy some things on impulse, but I don't buy them compulsively (now I'm really going to laugh if people come on here and challenge me on that. HA!)

Also, I've always considered myself to be one of those 'creative/messy types'. It may look like chaos to you - but I know where everything is. This is also where my 'perfectionism' comes in. I've had people wonder why I would keep certain 'work things' SUPER organized, but other stuff not. From what I'm reading, if I truly love something, or am super interested in it, I will do whatever it is I need to do - because I enjoy it.  BUT - since I have so much of it right now (ribbon, clips, fabric, etc) my 'perfectionist' side has this 'idealistic' idea of what I want everything to look like (think containers, labels, pens... all that kind of stuff). Since it's too 'idealistic', or I don't have the exact supplies, it becomes too much of an overwhelming project for me. So it becomes a burden... which then turns into something I know I HAVE to do, or SHOULD be doing, etc. And then that's where the resistance comes in. Also, if I have stuff that I know I should put away. I won't. And in a weird subconscious way

it's because I know I don't 'HAVE' to. It's basically subconscious rebellion. 

Another thing I read was how Perfectionists never start projects because they're trying to find the 'perfect starting point'. This has never rung more true to me. I'm always telling the husband, 'maybe I should start in the playroom ... no, actually, I should start in my office ... wait, maybe I should do the garage first since I know stuff will end up having to go in there... ' and true to form... I don't do anything. One of the main things they tell you to do, is to just START. They say that there will NEVER be the perfect starting point, so just start. And start ANYWHERE. It can be simple, small, it doesn't matter. 

One of the things they also suggested is to create an environment that you enjoy. Play music, make yourself a cup of coffee, have a snack out; it doesn't matter what you choose, but make your environment something you WANT to be in. Which this completely makes sense to me. Since we DRers will do whatever we need to do if we enjoy it, then it why not make it a party if it entices you to make good choices. 

So here's the next steps I'm doing because I want to (and yes, these are suggested exercises to help me overcome my DR):

1) As soon as I'm done with this post, I will use the new notebook I bought today, to make some specific SHORT lists of things I can organize tomorrow. (for instance - I can't write 'clean the dinning room'. Instead I need to write 'clear off the top of the dinning room table' or 'put all bags by the table away')

2) I will also write 'positive goals' about what I want to accomplish tomorrow. (for instance, I could write, 'I want to organize the dinning room table' or 'I want to put away the bags by the table') The reason for this is that I need to focus on performance goals and not outcome goals. The reason is because I have more control over performance goals, whereas outcome goals can be prone to failure due to events beyond my control.

3) I will read my 'positive goals' before I go to bed and when I get up in the morning.

4) Before I start to work on my goals, I will create a positive environment to work in. 

So the first step was identifying the problem. So wish me luck on starting the follow through.

Alright. Here's the deal.

Okay. So this is going to sound really crazy, but you need to stay with me for a bit. For reals. 

... But I'm going to be taking a short hiatus from my weight-loss journey ...

I did some 'research' today, and a TON of 'self analysis'. And during that little 'journey' I took, I've discovered something about myself. I have an Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. It's called 'Demand Resistance' and basically, well... here's a description:

"Demand-Resistance is defined as a chronic and automatic negative inner response to the perception of pressure, expectations, or demands (from within or without)(Mallinger and De Wyze, 1992). As a form of self-sabotage, this (usually unconscious) resistance takes a heavy toll on our homes, our lives, our work, our relationships. We frequently feel frustrated by and angry at ourselves and our situations. We're helpless, it's hopeless: and we don't know how to change."

I guess I could go through and list all the ways this 'disorder' has affected my life (as it's crazy how I've been able to come up with example... after example... after example... ) but I'll save you the sob story. 

Oh - and remember how I mentioned a while back that I might be a 'hoarder'? Well it turns out that I am. I'm actually between a Stage 1-2. Nice. (what that means is that I can clean it up if I have people coming over, but if you were to just 'drop by', I might not open the door).

Here is a blurb I found online by a fellow 'sufferer':

"The interesting thing is that we are often demand resistant to our own ideas.

This especially happens when saying "I ought to do the dishes." or "I should do the dishes." or "I must do the dishes." or "I have to do the dishes". Those words "ought to", "should", "must", and "have to" .... feel like demands. So we resist those demands.

I never saw the importance of a clean home. I always felt that cleanliness was an expectation from society but not important. The mess didn't bother me, so why should I clean to please other people? I resisted these societal expectations.

I resisted challenges, lists, anything that implied something I had to do.

I finally learned to say "I CHOOSE to do the dishes". Somehow, CHOOSING is self-empowering to me. I can CHOOSE to pick up the trash. I don't have to do it, but I can CHOOSE to do it.

Note that some of the books and online websites on these concepts suggest saying "I want to" (instead of "I have to" or "I should"). That never worked for me ... because I really did NOT want to clean the toilet. And saying "I want to clean the toilet" was a bunch of baloney and I didn't like that.

So I have found that regardless of whether I "want" to clean the toilet or not .... I can CHOOSE to clean it. And that makes all the difference for me. "

So I have to say - I can SOOOOOOO relate to what she wrote. For reals. It's almost scary. Know what else is scary? I read how some people who are DR (Demand Resistant) will not take medications because they think they 'have' to. Um... remember my magic pills? Well my trainer told me to take them 3 times a day. I've taken them zero days. I can come up with all these reasons why I can't. It's not because I don't want to, and it's not like I'm trying to OUT RIGHT defy him, but it's totally a subconscious thing. So weird.

So basically, it was like as soon as I read those articles, my eyes were instantly opened, and I saw myself in an entirely new way. 

That being said, I need to attack my 'hoarding' issue first. I started practicing some of the activities they suggest this afternoon and I can't believe what I was able to accomplish - both mentally, and physically. It's not going to happen to over night, but I'm really ready to take this thing on. I can see how everything is all intertwined (and again, I'm leaving out much of the back story  - so you'll just have to trust me on this) and I just need to focus on the process, and not the end result right now.  

I'll still be checking in on my blog every night for the accountability (and it's something I WANT to do) and soon, I'll be focusing back on the weight-loss. And honestly, I'm SUPER excited about this. I see how accomplishing the things I need to now, will TOTALLY affect my response to my weight loss. And I really want to still hear about all of your accomplishments... and running ventures... and workouts... so don't leave me. Please.

So there you have it. It's official. I've got issues. 

Reality Check

So I totally got a reality check from my BFF (if you happened to read the comments, then you saw it). And honestly - I have no defense. She's totally right. And just so you know, it's been well documented that my BFF is able to 'tell me things' (and get away with it) that other people can't. And ... well ... she did it again. 

I've fallen off the horse. I have a TON of stuff that I need to get done (remember when I was talking about mapping out the rest of the year?) and it's starting to become a little overwhelming. When I get stressed, I kinda can't see beyond the tip of my nose. I sabotage myself, allow myself to do so, and then get more frustrated with my lack of progress. It's a horrible cycle. 

I know I've wasted a ton of weeks. I can see my own list that I made so I'm well aware of what's going on. And sadly... this is what happens all the time. I have great intentions - make some dates, but the date comes and I'm still the same. 

... big sigh ...

But here's the deal. I'm getting help. Like literally. I'm having a babysitter come for a few hours, a few times each week so I can start my big projects I have. And part of what I'm going to work in, is going to the gym. I'm going to start going earlier, and because I won't have to take the kids, I don't have them as an excuse for being late, or having to leave early because the childcare closed. I still have goals, and I still have things I want to accomplish... but I'm still looking for the motivation that is going to make me addicted. For reals. I really want to become an addict. And now I just have to figure out how. 

Got any suggestions for me?

oh goodness ...

... so I'm frantically trying to finish getting my website reloaded with my products (since I did the server switcher over) as I have a sale starting tomorrow morning. I'm not that happy with how it looks like right now, but what can you do. Well, at this point, nothing. 

Tomorrow is also the little man's Court Date to finalize his adoption ... and my daughter just woke up crying with a fever ... and refused to take any medicine. 

Did I mention that I have to wake the kiddos up an hour and a half EARLIER than normal so we can get to Court on time? 

Needless to say. I gotta go. 

still tired

The picnic was fun today - and I met a bunch of 'friends' in real life for the first time. One of the things I love about the Adoption Community is the connection you get with other families who are experiencing the same things you are. It's super neat. 

But the highlight of this picnic was one particular woman I met. First - I noticed her as soon as she arrived at the picnic as she was probably one of THE MOST beautiful Koreans I've ever seen. She had that 'effortless cool' style/vibe going and she had the most beautiful and adorable little girl. Fast forward to us 'meeting' because my son is playing with her daughter. Turns out - the husband was talking with her earlier and he found out that she traveled to Korea about a week after me. So we were talking further about our kids, and she told me her daughter was actually a photo-listed child.

To make a long story short: I discovered that I had actually requested her daughter's file. 

I had requested her daughter's file - passed on it - and then ended up accepting my son's file. I always wondered what happened to that little girl and I can't even begin to explain how happy my heart is to know that not only is she incredibly loved, but she is TOTALLY HEALTHY AND THRIVING! There were some 'issues' that were beyond what we felt capable of handling - that's why we passed. But it turns out she was CLEARED of all of that. 

Pretty amazing, don't you think? And just so you know, I don't have any 'sadness' or feelings of regret for not moving forward, or thinking she 'should/could' have been mind. It just confirmed even more to me that we all end up with the kids we are MEANT to have. She is a PERFECT fit with her parents, just as I believe my son is a perfect fit me and the husband. 

So on that happy note... I shall go to sleep, and dream happy thoughts.

SO tired

So going 'supply shopping' in downtown LA with your entire family is NOT a good time. First, there are no public bathrooms - just so you know. And you feel claustrophobic in the parking lots. It's insane. Add in Friday traffic and only a 45 minute nap for the boy, and it's just a miserable mess.

We did finish off the night with with a lovely meal at our friends' house, so that ended the day on a high note. 

Now ... I actually have no idea why I'm still up. Tomorrow we're going to an 'Adoption Picnic' and we get to meet some of our 'adoption friends' in person. I'm really looking forward to it. Should be pretty fun time. 

And now... I get to go to bed!

I tried - but it was down!

Last night I tried to post but Blogger was down. Sorry! But now I have to get directions to the stores we're trying to get to in downtown LA. So wish me luck. It's a busy day - so I'll catch you all later tonight.

Gettin' Ready to Go

Looks like the boy is on the mend and my 'To Do List' is getting shorter. Still have a ton to get ready for the trip. Even though I'll be gone a for a few days, I'll still have my computer with me (or course), so I'll be checking in. 

Sorry for the boring posts... but it's just one of those weeks I guess. 

Have a great day. For reals. 

Still Sick

The boy is still sick... not as bad, but not close to being 'back to normal'. I've gotten stuff done (as the husband offered to stay home from work... and who am I to go against his wishes?!) but I still have a ton more. I've been entering products all night in my shop. I still have a ton more to do, but I have to stop. My eyes are rolling in my head. 

Anyway, we're supposed to go out of town on Thursday. I have no clue how all of this is going to happen. For reals.

Sick

My little Butter Ball was sick today. It was the WEIRDEST thing as he woke up totally normal. We got ready and went down to our Adoption Agency so we could get our Court Report and when we walked into the office... he threw up. It wasn't much, but still - SO WEIRD. By the time we got to to the car he had a raging fever. I have NO IDEA where this came from. Like I said, he was FINE when we left the house! 

I still went to the Court House as I really needed to get everything filed - and I'm SO glad I did. We were able to get a Court Date for NEXT MONDAY! The 16th! Honestly - I think this is the fastest turn around time I've ever heard of. Most people are waiting at least 3 weeks to book their dates, so I'm super stoked. 

Anyway, I had one tired boy on my hands today as he was quite miserable. Which meant I didn't get as much done as I needed to either. And let me tell you - I have a TON to do. So I'm off. I gotta get back to work. 

Accomplishments Anyone?

New Week. New Goals. New Mind Set. 

LET'S DO IT!

So what are you proud of? Do tell. I want to hear it. Every little thing. For reals.

(and in the morning I'm headed down to our Adoption Agency to get our 'Court Report' which I will HAND DELIVER to the Court House and hopefully schedule our Finalization Date!!! I can't wait! Wish me luck - and some super nice Court House workers)

Happy Mother's Day!

to those who have children

or are waiting for their children to be born

or waiting for them to come home 

I wish you a VERY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I hope you're spending the day doing what ever you want.

(I know I am!)

I Don't Really Want To Talk About It

... so I won't.

Some interesting stuff going on right now. Lots to think about. At some point I'll talk about what's going on. I don't mean to be mysterious, but I'm just processing a lot of stuff right now. It's all super random, but nonetheless, it's on my mind. 

Good night.

It's that time again...

My dreaded weigh-in. I ate Korean food today - and I'm expecting the bloat to happen. It always does. Children's Day was fun - and the kids enjoyed themselves (as did the parents) so I chalk it up to one big success. 

Anyone have any fun plans for the weekend?

Children's Day

It's Children's Day tomorrow... and what might that be you ask? It's actually a big holiday that is celebrated in Korea. So we're doing our own version of it tomorrow. The husband has taken off work (which he will basically do forever on this day) and we'll just spend it with the kids. And much to my excitement, we will of course be eating Korean food. Awesome.

We haven't figured out all the details to tomorrow's festivities, but I'm pretty sure the park, maybe the zoo? and even the carousel at the mall will all be visited.

I'm looking forward to starting this tradition as we'll also have time to talk about what adoption means to us and remind our kids how much we love them. And I really can't wait until they're old enough to start celebrating Parents' Day. Because I will SO be cashing in on that.

And to all our Hispanic-American friends out there...

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

Inspiration

So I love watching Biggest Loser. Seriously - it's one of my favorite shows. And tonight's episode was the beloved 'make over episode'. Granted, some of the dresses weren't my favorite, and I wasn't crazy about Hannah's hair at first (but it grew on me), but regardless of that, how can you NOT be impressed with what they accomplished in the past 5 months?! Incredible!

And as I've mentioned before, it's really hard for me to find 'inspiration' with my weight loss. For reals. Like... there isn't anything I'm DYING to get, or something that I can 'grab hold of' to motivate me. 

So my question for those you who are losing weight, and those of you who are just maintaining:

WHAT IS YOUR INSPIRATION?

what IS it that pushes you?

makes you not falter?

helps you pass on second helpings?

or desserts?

what's your secret?

do you mind sharing it?

I'd really like to know.

Woah.

So I just mapped out the rest of the year in regarding to the projects I have for my business... let's just say. I'm going to be REALLY busy. One of the things I've realized, is that I really need to adjust my daily schedule. Like... every day needs to be scheduled, vs just going with the flow (not that I can't be flexible, but I need a 'plan' so I can get everything done that I need to.)

So do you guys have any tips on what kind of schedule works best for you?

Accomplishments Anyone?

Okay - it's a new month, the beginning of a new week, and well - there's no better time to jump back on the weight-loss band wagon. I love having new 'start times' (although I heard that you shouldn't wait for the 'perfect time' but instead just start immediately...) but this really does feel like the perfect time to re-start. So here we go. 

Does anyone have anything they want to share that was their accomplishment this past week? Big or small - exciting or not - please do share. I actually REALLY love reading the comments as I find it to be super encouraging. I'm not kidding. 

Now, I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but I'm also technically supposed to start my 'Couch to 5K' program tomorrow. Here's the thing. I don't think I'm ready. When I do my training session followed with my hour of walking... I feel REALLY tired. Like my legs are super sore and so is my entire body. So I think I'm going to still focus on just getting my walking in every day (since I'm supposed to do that whole 60-90 minutes a day thing...).

BUT - I am doing a 5K. One of my girlfriends asked me to do it. I'm not sure when or where it'll be, but I told her I'd do it if I could walk. (She's a runner) But she said she'd be more than willing to walk if I came. So there you go. I'm officially going to do a 5K whenever the next one comes around. 

And if any of you guys are going to do the 5k training program - please, OH PLEASE, check in here with your progress. I REALLY want to know an HONEST evaluation of the program. I'm thinking that at some point I'll be able to jog a 5K... but that is just so far down in my future right now. So EVERY DAY you do your training, PLEASE post here what you thought of it - how you felt, etc.

So my accomplishment for this past week is that I'm not giving up. I'm re-evaluating, getting re-motivated (I'm trying out two different forms of inspiration that will hopefully help me get focused) and I'm ready to re-dedicate myself to hitting my goals. And my 'small goals' at that. So who's with me?!

(and don't forget to share your accomplishments!!!)