Sunday, February 12, 2012

humor me, and play along for a sec ...

Okay, so I want you to imagine that you just got news that you find to be completely devastating. For reals - whatever YOU would personally find to be horrible news to hear. And I want you to feel those emotions. The fear. The uncertainty of what you're next step will be. The sadness. The shedding of tears, the anger. That ache in your stomach that just makes your whole body feel nauseous. Truly try and put yourself 'there'. 

Now I want you to think about what you would do to help calm you down. Is it talking to a certain friend or family member? Is it going for a run? Having a drink? Taking a nap? Seriously - what steps do you take to calm yourself down? Really identify what it is that helps you. And over the next few days ... weeks, if you start to feel stressed again, what do you do to combat those feelings? Again ... really try to identify that. 

Got it figured it out? 

Now imagine whatever it is that you use to calm yourself down and bring you back to reality is completely taken away. You CANNOT use that method to help you. So in the middle of your 'crisis' you not only have to figure out how to handle that, but you have to find new ways to cope. And if you complain about it or use those methods anyway, people will say, 'c'mon, don't give into that. you don't need that to cope. seriously. don't be so weak.'

Can you guess where I'm going with this? 

I'm just trying to paint the picture of what it's like when you're an emotional eater (like myself). For whatever reason, some of us are prone to use food as a coping mechanism. And yes, there are MUCH better methods out there, but when you're 'used' to using a certain one time and time again, it's hard to all of the sudden make a switch - especially in the middle of a stressful situation. And it's not like you can really 'roll play' it, because in the middle of a 'crisis' you have no idea what you're going to be feeling, or how you're going to react. 

Now, I don't want to panic anyone. I'm not having a huge crisis; my family is healthy, there is nothing going on that will kill us or leave us destitute. But I am facing some challenges that I find to be kind of overwhelming. But I'll get through it. And I'm really going to try and not use food as my 'method' or try and 'justify' bad choices because of what I'm going through. That being said, I made some bad choices today (haha) and I probably will in the future. So I guess I'm just hoping for some understanding. My relationship/dependency on food is already hard for me. And honestly, added stress is going to make it even more difficult. But I'm working on trying to combat it. I really am. But it's going to be hard. And I guess I just wanted to be honest about it. 

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