didn't mean to worry you guys!

Gosh - I'm SO sorry if I'm making you guys worry. For reals. I've been wanting to write about what it's like to be an 'emotional eater' for some time now, and considering I was stressed out on Saturday I thought it would be the perfect time since I could totally identify my 'triggers'. 

So again, I apologize for causing any unnecessary drama. For reals! Totally not my intention. 

But Jess - I will take you up on that phone call - we haven't chatted in forever!!!

humor me, and play along for a sec ...

Okay, so I want you to imagine that you just got news that you find to be completely devastating. For reals - whatever YOU would personally find to be horrible news to hear. And I want you to feel those emotions. The fear. The uncertainty of what you're next step will be. The sadness. The shedding of tears, the anger. That ache in your stomach that just makes your whole body feel nauseous. Truly try and put yourself 'there'. 

Now I want you to think about what you would do to help calm you down. Is it talking to a certain friend or family member? Is it going for a run? Having a drink? Taking a nap? Seriously - what steps do you take to calm yourself down? Really identify what it is that helps you. And over the next few days ... weeks, if you start to feel stressed again, what do you do to combat those feelings? Again ... really try to identify that. 

Got it figured it out? 

Now imagine whatever it is that you use to calm yourself down and bring you back to reality is completely taken away. You CANNOT use that method to help you. So in the middle of your 'crisis' you not only have to figure out how to handle that, but you have to find new ways to cope. And if you complain about it or use those methods anyway, people will say, 'c'mon, don't give into that. you don't need that to cope. seriously. don't be so weak.'

Can you guess where I'm going with this? 

I'm just trying to paint the picture of what it's like when you're an emotional eater (like myself). For whatever reason, some of us are prone to use food as a coping mechanism. And yes, there are MUCH better methods out there, but when you're 'used' to using a certain one time and time again, it's hard to all of the sudden make a switch - especially in the middle of a stressful situation. And it's not like you can really 'roll play' it, because in the middle of a 'crisis' you have no idea what you're going to be feeling, or how you're going to react. 

Now, I don't want to panic anyone. I'm not having a huge crisis; my family is healthy, there is nothing going on that will kill us or leave us destitute. But I am facing some challenges that I find to be kind of overwhelming. But I'll get through it. And I'm really going to try and not use food as my 'method' or try and 'justify' bad choices because of what I'm going through. That being said, I made some bad choices today (haha) and I probably will in the future. So I guess I'm just hoping for some understanding. My relationship/dependency on food is already hard for me. And honestly, added stress is going to make it even more difficult. But I'm working on trying to combat it. I really am. But it's going to be hard. And I guess I just wanted to be honest about it. 

rough day

Today was bad. Seriously got thrown a wrench that hit me over and over and over in the head. Or at least it felt like it. So I allowed myself to be upset for awhile and then sat down and tried to come up with a game plan. I guess life is like that some times. 

So I'm still feeling a bit blah and I'm headed to bed. Hope you all have a good weekend. 

whoops

Apparently I skipped a post again.

Anyway - I've been getting our tax stuff together (which takes me a long time since I'm not that organized with all that ... surprise, surprise ...) and I have our appointment in the morning ... which also happens to the be the same time that I'm supposed to take the oldest child to a birthday party ... and the husband will be at work. Thankfully my sitter was available and she'll be helping me out. Oh - and did I mention that the husband is sick? 

Yeah ... it's a bit chaotic in our house right now. 

uhhh ...

... didn't make it to the grocery store. I thought we would but some stuff came up this afternoon so I couldn't go when I originally thought, so we were going to go in the evening but that ended up not working out either. So the husband is going in the morning while I take the kids to the Park with my Mom. 

And just so you know, when I talk about going to the grocery story - it's usually to load up on meat. HA! But like Leah suggested, I'll take a photo so you can see what it is I load up on. 

Okay - off to bed!

it rained today ...

... so I didn't get to the grocery store.


But I'm FOR SURE going tomorrow. For realsies. I promise.

G'night.

Another Late Night

I stayed up late again working on some editing. I had a Family Session this afternoon so I didn't make it to the grocery store. But I'm shooting for tomorrow .. oh wait .. it's supposed to rain ... well ... I figure something out. 

Anyway - I gotta get to bed. The kids got up way too early this morning, so I'm hoping that there will NOT be a repeat of it again tomorrow!

okay ... so that was weird

I could have sworn I came on here last night and posted. In fact, I really thought I had made my rounds of updating all the stuff I needed to and finished early last night. Apparently I totally skipped this place. My bad. 

So the NY Giants did well, the husband is stoked, and with that, Super Bowl is officially over. Which means its now time to get back to my Primal living. I can't wait. I'm so bloated right now it's not even funny. Plus, I weighed myself and I'm back up to where I started. 

Anyway - I gotta get to the grocery store tomorrow ... time to restock and get this week started off right. 

Hope you all had a good weekend!

new plan

Just so you know, the husband's 'team' is the NY Giants. So the Superbowl is going to be a pretty serious game in our house. So that means we're getting food. Good food. Well, good food as in 'bad' food. But you know what I mean. 

After that, the husband said he wants to go strictly Primal again. He's hating the way he feels (as do I) so it's nice that we're both on the same page again.

I know I say that I'm 'back on it' time and time again ... and yes, it seems as though I fail. But I'll continue to try, because that has to be a bit better than just totally giving up, right? 

So there you go. That's the new plan. Wish me luck.

Another Late Night

Another quick update. The husband fell asleep on the couch and I just finished editing the photos from today. The family session I did is actually for my daughter's pre-school teacher, so I was trying to get everything done so she can take it tomorrow to school with her. 

So off to bed I go. I got another session in the morning again. So good night!

ugh

Was working on a project and totally lost track of time. I GOT to get to bed as I'm doing a photo session in the morning. 

Sorry to be so abrupt! But good-night for now!

Shaking It Off

That's what you're supposed to do with bad days, right? I think I'm pretty much done with the shaking and just needing to get to the 'refocusing' part.

I closed my Online Shop tonight. I just can't have that as a distraction while I concentrate on some other stuff. I'm sure I'll reopen at some point, but until then, I gots other stuff to do. 

Alright, well, off to bed I go. 

ugh. what an exausting day.

I had to deal with a bunch of 'drama' today and I'm just exhausted. So I'm going to bed and hoping for a better day tomorrow. 

G'night.

How Did it Get so Late?

I gotta get to bed. New week starting - let's do it up! Going to hit the grocery store after dropping the daughter off at pre-school. 

Here's to a good week for everyone!

The Weekend

So I've been having a great weekend filled with friends ... which also means food. I know, I know. Just one more day of it, and then it's back to the ol' grind. I promise.

How's everyone's weekend going?

Have any of you watched that movie 'One Day' with Anne Hathaway?

I just finished watching it and I'm bawling. And I'm angry. I didn't like how it ended. So if anyone else has watched it, let me know. I really want to talk about it now. 

kind of a wash?

So I'm feeling better. I had a dull headache this morning but it's gone now. So while that's good, I did eat a ton of chicken noodle soup. Like a lot ... and some other stuff. 

So I'm thinking this week will just be a wash. And then start up again on Monday. 

Well, I'm headed to bed. Hope you guys had a good week - and an even better weekend!

A Bit Better

I'm feeling a bit better ... thinking that it's not going to be the flu (whew!) and my headache finally went away. Which is good because I was super afraid that I was getting hand, foot & mouth disease again. But I don't think that's the case either. 

The husband stayed home from work today and he's actually staying home tomorrow too. And I'll let you in on a little secret ... he totally spoiled me today. I'm a lucky girl, what can I say.

Anyway, hope you all are doing well - and staying well!

Hello Again!

Hey guys - so the husband and I were able to get a lot of stuff done over the weekend which was great. But now I'm not feeling well. I think I'm getting the flu. So I'm just going to leave it at that, and I'll check in again tomorrow. 

Hope everyone is doing well!

quick check in

... getting stuff done!

See you tomorrow.

busy

Okay. So I'm going to be super busy the next few days. My parents are taking the kiddos and I am officially purging the house and all the excess toys. I'm pretty sure this is the 7th or 8th 'official' try, but hey, it's better than giving up, right?

So I'll still be checking in, but just real quick. I have BIG PLANS for the next few days ... so here's to achieving that goal!

I backed out

I did. I fully admit it. I went to the grocery store instead. Today got away from us and my son went down for a late nap. So it was one of those days where I could either go to the Grocery Store, or go to Zumba and hit a drive-thru afterwards. So I chose the former. 

I stocked back up on meat, vegetables and fruit. So at least I can make good eating choices while at home. I was out of all vegetables and meat, and I think I had one banana and one apple. So now those bases are covered. 

Also, I found out that I would have showed up to the wrong gym had I gone to Zumba. And if that would have happened, I would have been in SUCH a bad mood. So I think it all worked out in the end. 

Anyway, that was today. Here's to a good tomorrow!

not bad .. not great, but not entirely bad

That could be said about my weigh-in, and also my eating for today. Okay, so the eating was a little worse. But I just felt like I needed a break ... but the funny thing, is that I actually don't like how I feel afterwards. I guess the old body is a changing. Which is a good thing. 

I need to go grocery shopping again, so I guess I'll tackle that job with the kiddos in tow tomorrow. The husband works late tomorrow which means a super long day for me. I know, I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but sometimes I do. If I can get super motivated, I might go to a Zumba class over at the gym. I've never been to that gym location, but a friend of mine goes there and she loves it. The kids could go to childcare and I could get my Zumba on. I've never done it, but people tell me I'd love it. 

Oh what the heck. I'll give it a try. 

... and before I forget, I lost 1.5lbs. 

Weigh-In tomorrow ...

I know I went down a little earlier this week ... but I had Chinese food tonight. Just some rice and War Won Ton Soup (no won tons, just the broth and vegetables) and a few bites of sesame chicken. I guess we'll see what happens in the morning. But I'm pretty sure it was loaded with salt.

Anyway - hope you all had a great weekend!

I'm tired

I'm trying to learn Korean again. It's hard. But I'm trying to tell myself that it's not ... and that I can just 'absorb' it really easily. 

I'll let you know how that goes. 

Anyway, I'm super tired. Today I really wanted to snack a lot. But I refrained. Well, I refrained from snacking on carby snacks ... but I did have more fruit and dark chocolate than normal. Oh well. 

Okay, I'm off to bed. I need to sleep. 

the good and the bad

THE GOOD:

I ate decently. I did have Korean food for lunch

but I didn't have a ton of bad stuff

(or bad snacks)

*****

THE BAD:

I didn't get as much purging of the house done. 

Anyway, I'm headed into the weekend and I'm hoping to make each day count. I'm decently happy with how I've done with week, so I plan on finishing strong. Cause that's what it's all about, right?!

So does anyone have anything fun going on this weekend?

Not Bad

Made some good choices today so I'm pretty happy about it. I decided that every time I make a 'good choice', I'm going to remind myself that the scale will reward me. That's the crazy thing about being Primal. If you do the work, you really can see results fast ... which is good for people like me who want instant gratification. 

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm headed to bed. I have a full day of 'purging' ahead of me. 

G'night!

I'm so tired tonight

A lot of running around today and then working on some projects tonight. So I'm MORE than tired. 

Sorry for the lameness, but I feel like I can't think straight.

g'night!

So Check This Out ...

... I went down another pound this morning! I know, I know ... I'm not supposed to weigh myself every day ... but I can't help it. It's kind of addicting (haha!). 

Anyway, I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow to re-stock up on meat. Last time the lady behind me in line asked me why I was buying so much meat ... I told her it was because we like it. Hahahahaha. I didn't feel like going into the whole Primal thing. 

Okay, enough of that. I'm watching the final weigh-in of Biggest Loser ... so I gotta pay attention now. 

Not the Best Weigh-In

I'm down 1.5lbs. I'll take it. I didn't drink that much water and I had some salty foods the past few days ... but I know that earlier in the week I was down a few pounds, so I'm not phased by this little set back. I still love Primal and plan to continue.

But I gotta get to bed. I have to take my computer in to the Genius Bar tomorrow morning, so I gotta get me some sleep!

New Week!

Ahhhh ... a new week is starting and I LOVE the feeling of that. My daughter goes back to pre-school tomorrow and basically we're getting back into our daily grind. My company has left, and now it's back to being Primal ... actually - I didn't go completely off Primal over the weekend. I didn't indulge in any desserts (like cake, cheesecake, or cake ... I really had a craving for cake and I didn't do it!) And I didn't snack on carby chips or crackers or whatever ... but I did have a some bread at a couple of meals.

So what I'd like to focus on this week is to just continue with the Primal thing, and drink more water. And stop the diet soda. I'll probably do that second part slowly, but I figure it's better to slowly wean off that one than to slowly wean off desserts. But I know full well I gotta kick that habit again. 

Alright, well, I guess I'm off to bed. It's before mid-night ... so this is feeling a bit strange!

hmmm

Just so you know, when you have company in town ... it's harder to make better choices. 

Just sayin' ... 

Hope you all are having a good weekend!

SO tired

Today went by fast. Did some photos with my cousin, had some Korean food, spent time editing. Over all it was a good day. We had Korean food for dinner, but I ate really clean the rest of the day - and the quantity of Korean food that I consumed was low ... so I think I balanced it out. 

Still need to increase my water. Anyway, I am SOOOO tired, so I'm out. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Headed into the Weekend

So the weekend is just about here and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'll let you in on a little secret though ... I had 2 biscuits today. That was the ONLY thing I compromised on though. This morning I went to the airport to pick up my cousin who is visiting for the next few days and so tonight we took her to a BBQ place for dinner. 

I didn't do any snacking though, as once we got home from the airport (and I charged my camera battery) we headed out for the rest of the afternoon to do take some pictures. It was fun - and I can't wait to do it again!

Anyway - hope you all had a good day too! Any fun plans for the weekend?

Another Day

Okay - so today went well too! I could increase my water intake for sure, but my eating has still been totally under control. A big contributing factor was that I was SUPER busy today. Just going from one thing to the next, so I didn't have time to think about snacking ... and then I was editing some photos tonight ... so I didn't have time to stop to get snacks then either ... so that SOOOO helped me. I guess this is the only time where being preoccupied is a good thing. 

Oh - and of course I weighed myself this morning ... and guess what ... I'm down a couple of pounds! I'm SUPER stoked about it too. But that's the beauty of Primal. If you do it right, you see results pretty quickly. And honestly - that SO motivates me. 

So here's to another good day!

Not Bad

So today went rather well. Granted, I didn't make it to the gym again, but my eating was GREAT! No rice, no pasta, no carbs ... for a snack I had an apple and some gouda cheese ... and a SMALL bit of dark chocolate (way less than I used to eat when during Primal a while back).  My attitude kind of stunk as eating a piece of cake sounded really good to me, but I succeeded in not giving in to the temptation. 

Things are going to be busy for me the rest of the week - so I'm just going to focus on my eating. I went grocery shopping today and we should be set for the rest of the week. So hopefully my first weigh in will be a good one! (oh - and while I did gain a few pounds from when I first started Primal, I'm not back up to where I was when I first started overall ... so I'm stoked on that!)

First Day Back

So today was my first day back on Primal eating and honestly ... I think I did pretty good. Considering. The babysitter we used last summer went to Uganda on an study abroad program and she finally came back home. So she came over and the kiddos and I took her to lunch - at our favorite Sushi place. I normally get a California roll (I actually don't eat raw fish) and the deep fried gyoza ... but this time I just got the California roll (two actually). It came with their cucumber 'salad', rice and I ordered a side of kimchee (I think I'm the only person who orders the kimchee there).

I didn't eat all my rice but I did have a diet coke. But I didn't finish it. At home, there was no snacking, I drank water and then for dinner we had pork chops, apples and zucchini and carrots. I did have a SMALL bit of dark chocolate, but honestly - I'm really happy with my choices. I felt full, I wasn't tempted and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. 

The downside to today, was that I was supposed to go to the gym but backed out. This morning seemed too hectic and the sitter came earlier than I thought. But tomorrow evening the husband works late, so I'll take the kiddos to the gym before dinner. I think that'll be a win/win for everyone.

So today was good for me. How was yours?

Okay - the time has come!

So since January 1st was on a Sunday, I feel like the 2nd is more of my 'start time'. I think I'm ready to go. For reals. I'm really wanting to do this (like I always say) but knowing that I have others in the same boat as me is super comforting. So thanks you guys for joining me!

I'm on the mailing list for my Aunt's Personal Training Newsletter. And here's the letter I got today - I thought it was SOOO good ... too good not to share. So here you go - and  may we all have a great start to 2012!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Welcome to 2012! I wonder what this next year will bring all of our ways? Looking back over the last year aren't you glad you didn't know EVERYTHING that was ahead? Life is full of surprises, disappointments, joys, and choices. Some of you were delighted by wonderful unexpected news that changed everything...others were surprised with hard news that threw a curve in your plans or changed your outlook on life. While we can't control everything that happens to us we can make good choices that help us live a healthier, happier life. Speaking of that....

....did any of you gain weight over the holidays? I did. We all probably did. After-all, we got together with family and friends and celebrated the season and that usually means feasting on cookies, drinks, candy, home baked goods and tons of other delicious treats...and you know what? That's a part of life...a good part of life....but another part of life is making more healthy choices and getting back on track. So, here are a few suggestions to help you as you begin this new year:

First, throw out all half eaten boxes of SEE's candies, gorgeously designed sugar cookies, crackers, left over candy, chips and any other seasonal foods that you allowed yourself to have over the holidays. THROW THEM OUT! You have celebrated, you've feasted, you've gained weight....it's over...so TODAY clean out your Christmas tins, freezer and fridge....get rid of the goodies! Yes, you are WASTING it...but if you don't, you will be WAISTING it in a different way.

Next, make a big batch of cabbage soup, veggie soup or some other broth based soup. Add some protein to it in the form of beans, legumes or chia seeds. Eat other stuff too...but really make the soup your go to food when you are hungry. The purpose of this is to kind of reset your body and taste buds back to less highly palatable choices. Eat the soup along with  REAL FOOD (veggies, fruit, lean meats, healthy grains). 

Thirdly, drink green tea. Yes, I know it is blah, but you can doctor it up. I add a strong mint tea bag to mine. You may add ginger or lemon or any other flavor to make it more flavor-able. Five cups of green tea really gives your metabolism a boost....just drink it! Oh and all those Starbucks/Peets drinks...nope, they don't exist for you anymore...don't drink your calories in juices, highly caloric coffee drinks or "healthy drinks" that are loaded with calories.

Lastly, START MOVING! Do some push-ups, squats, lunges....just throw them into your day at random times. Those little bursts of exercise add up. Don (my husband) disappears for a moment and before I know it he is back and says, "I just did 30 push-ups" or "I just did 15 pull-ups"! All those little quick bits of exercise add up! Talk a walk, jump rope for the duration of a song you love, climb up a hill...just move!

 

 

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

Cheers!!!

I hope 2012 is the best year yet for all of us!