I really tried ...

... to get to the gym for a weigh-in this morning, but it just didn't work out. I had to get the boy to his doctor's appointment in the morning and it just didn't make sense to take 20 minutes out of our morning for me to run to the gym and weigh in. We then decided to 'all' go to the doctor appointment together (and swing by the gym where I could just run in real quick) but somehow time slipped by too quickly and we couldn't manage that either. Which honestly, I'm a bit disappointed as I KNOW I lost some weight this week! I guess that's one good thing about getting HF&M ... I couldn't eat as much!

This weekend is my big craft fair, and since I lost a few days of not being able to work due to my hands hurting, I have a ton of ground to make up. So things will be very 'light' here until this weekend passes. Then I can really get back down to business ... as I don't have anything really major planned afterwards. 

Well, I'm off to bed, so I can get up and start sewing immediately.

How Did You Know?

For realsies ... how did you guys know it was HAND, FOOT & MOUTH DISEASE?!?!?! I actually saw my nurse practitioner (I actually love her by the way) and she ruled out Strep just to be sure (but she said she didn't think I had that) and told me I was 'text book' Hand, Foot & Mouth disease. 

The only thing that could have horrified me more, would have been if those blister thingys would have sprung up all around my mouth. I think I would have completely freaked out.

I told her that I was the ONLY adult I've ever known who has gotten this. She said she see's it all the time. But I'm not entirely sure if I believe her ... maybe she was just trying to make me feel better. 

So for those of you who were wondering my exact symptoms, here's the progression:

1) BAD headache

2) fever

3) flu like symptoms, but you're not exactly sure

4) a couple of days later you break out in the small blisters 

5) feels like 'pins & needles'

I guess once you get the blisters, the virus is working it's way out. And yes, there's nothing you can take but tylenol & advil. 

Now, my daughter had the same symptoms a day ahead of me, but she never had any blisters - which the nurse practitioner said that is very common. So maybe she had it? Maybe my son did earlier in the week but he didn't get the blisters either ... and there's also a 2 week incubation period ... so I'm hoping that everyone stays clear of it the next couple of weeks ... because I do NOT wish this on anyone. 

Anyway - I'm impressed with all your diagnosis skills. Never once did Hand, Foot & Mouth disease cross my mind ... some unrecognizable nerve & skin disorder did .... but not the former. Go figure. 

Feeling Better ... but Getting Worse

I'm telling you - crazy things are going on with me. Now I'm getting these little 'blister' like things on my hands. But only on the tips of some of my fingers ... not on the palms, not on top ... and they hurt ... kinda like pins & needles ... I've NEVER had anything like this before. And I REALLY need my hands. I still have a ton of work I need to get done before my craft fair this coming weekend ... so can you guys pray that I can get in with my doctor tomorrow? He's really hard to get into last minute, but I really need to figure out what's going on. 

Man ... I really want to get back to my 'old self'. For reals. 

Feeling Better!

So last night I got a decent night's sleep. I SO needed that! I woke up, realized that I had actually been able to sleep, and walked downstairs with a smile on my face. And then I found out it was 10:45a. Oh well, the husband had everything under control, so it was all good. 

My Mom had saved some 'Thanksgiving Dinner' for us, so we had that for dinner tonight. It's the first meal I've had in quite some time. And it tasted really good! But believe it or not, my appetite isn't really back (which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing). 

So while I didn't need to take a nap today, my throat is still really bothering me. I couldn't drink any orange juice  because it actually burned when going down. But at least I can breathe. So I guess I'll just take what I can, right?

Still Sick

Seriously, mornings are SO rough for me. My throat is at it's worst and I still had chills ... it didn't help that my son had a case of diarrhea last night. It was craziness. 

Anyway, here's to hoping I'm miraculously healed in the morning. 

Good night!

Good News: I didn't over eat today

Bad News: it was due to the fact that I woke up super sick 

I don't know what hit me, but it hit me hard and fast. Last night I kinda had a headache and I felt like I was kinda cold when I went to bed. Well ... that headache persisted throughout the night and so did the chills. I woke up with a bad sore throat, my body hurt and ached, my head was pounding and I pretty much felt like I got ran over by a truck.

Today I've been drinking a ton of fluids, I took long naps at three different times, and my Thanksgiving Meal was Chicken Noodle Soup. The husband has been SO SUPER FANTASTIC in helping out with the kids (and me!). Did I mention that my daughter was also sick last night and today? I think I may have gotten what she had, and if that's the case, then I should be feeling much better tomorrow, as she vastly improved today.

So with that, I think it's time to get some more sleep. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Hope you all have a 

Super Happy Thanksgiving! 

Here's to eating a ton of mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie

(those are my favorites)

and as a little fyi ...

... the bff made BIG MONEY this week. 

$50 to be exact. She rocked it.

I forgot

... seriously. I forgot to go to the gym today to weigh-in. I had a bunch of things I had to get done this morning and then the next thing I know it's time to take the boy to his doctor appointment ... at 2:30 in the afternoon.

Well ... I guess I'm still stuck at $2. But hopefully it's big money next week!

a bit better

Sorry these are so short, but I've been so busy and of course I have a ton more to do. Today was a bit better, but the problem is that I need to get to the store and re-stock our frig with Primal stuff. If I don't, then that's when the bad choices start happening. 

Anyway, not sure if I can get to the store tomorrow .. but maybe . We'll see how it goes. The boy has his hearing test tomorrow ... he has fluid in his ears and so we need to see if he is experiencing any hearing loss that is effecting his speech (he's a bit delayed). I'm not worried, but I am interested in seeing the results. 

So that's what I'm up to tomorrow ... how about you guys? Anything fun planned tomorrow?

well ...

... let's just say that 'better choices' will be made tomorrow.

And with that - good night!

totally not Primal

I went to my friend Jineau's house for dinner tonight and for all of you who 'know' her from her comments here, I just want to share that she is the most AMAZING cook EVER! Or maybe I should be calling her a Chef ... I don't know, but what I do know is that her meals are to DIE FOR! And tonight's was no exception. Sure ... it may not have been Primal, but there was a delicious stuffed tenderloin and veggies ... well ... maybe it was Primal ... although there was some cream and butter ... and caramel and apple cake and vanilla bean ice cream (and how could I not mention the most amazing gravy ever! Like I actually told her it was LIFE CHANGING).

But I sooooo don't mind taking a short hiatus for the night as I absolutely adore my Jineau. For reals. She's super great, and so is her husband and the same goes for her daughter. Every time we part after hanging out, I always feel so happy and blessed to call her my friend. 

Thanks again for a great night Jineau! You really are the best!!!

almost forgot ...

... so this will be quick. I need to get some sleep! Today was decent. But I did have a piece of Pumpkin Cheesecake at my daughter's 'Thanksgiving Feast' at school. It was SO good. But for lunch I had a huge salad... so in my mind I'm telling myself that it 'evened out'. 

Okay - off to bed. Anyone have any fun weekend plans?

$30

I got a text from the BFF today which informed me that she's down 3 lbs already. That's 30 bucks. That's awesome. Me ... I'm still at $2. What in the world. I'm getting schooled! But the good news is that I didn't eat very much today because my stomach hurt from something I ate last night. Not sure what it was, but it definitely made me want to NOT eat today. 

Um ... Stacy Francis just sang HORRIBLY on XFactor ... her and Astro (I'm watching the DVR'd version) ... um... they BOTH should have gone home.

Anyway - here's to a good tomorrow! I gotta earn me some cash!

Not Totally Bad

So today wasn't totally bad .. not totally great, but not that bad either. I need to go through the house and get rid of some stuff. This time of year is so hard ... so many DELICIOUS things I want to eat ... oh well. If I can make it through this Season, then I can make it through ANY season, right?!

Off Topic - is anyone watching XFactor? If so, who do you like?

.2 lbs

That's what I lost this morning. I almost laughed out loud. For reals. But I'll take it! My old trainer happened to be at the desk next to the scale and I wouldn't let him watch me as I weighed myself. But you know what I realized? I'm only off of my 'lowest documented weight this year' by 2 lbs ... actually, just under 2 lbs. Which isn't that bad. If I actually tried this week I could be at my lowest weight EVER next week. Let's see what happens. 

I had a little conversation with the BFF today. She's starting a 90 day weight-loss program and she's going to email me every day for accountability on it. We decided that in 90 days we'll do something to celebrate. We always talk about how we want to spend the night at a hotel and watch movies and eat food (I know, I should scrap the food eating bit ... ) so that's going to be our 'prize'. I also decided that she has to go shopping with me when it's time to go to Korea (which will be longer than 90 days, but I'm reserving the right to make her do it now, as she hates shopping). I knew of some people who as a goal for weight-loss put a dollar amount to each pound they lost ... to be used for shopping. It was a hefty price tag ... $10 PER POUND. But guess what? I'm going to do it too! Granted, I haven't told the husband yet and I probably won't follow through on it, but it's super fun to think of the hypothetical pot-of-cash I could have at the end of 90 days. 

So as of right now - I got $2 to spend on clothes for Korea. Pretty awesome, don't ya think?

check it

dude. I'm SO going to be in bed WAY before midnight tonight! I'm super tired and we're just finishing up watching The Sing Off and then we're going to bed. Pretty amazing if you ask me! I can't remember the last time this happened! So I'm stoked. 

I was good today. I got all my errands done and had a super healthy lunch. Dinner wasn't horrible but I did have a few snacks. But I'm looking forward to tomorrow ... it's another day and I'm still going to wake up thinking 'I can DO this!'

How's the week starting out for all you guys? 

Alright ...

... not the best week. I think I'm getting sick too. You know when you go to bed and you feel your throat start to get all itchy and you feel like it's super dry, but if you start coughing you think you might not be able to stop? And then when you wake up in the morning you feel like you got ran over by a truck?

Yeah ... that's kinda where I'm at. I feel better as the day goes on, but then I start to go back down hill as evening comes. But hopefully it was just my body thinking it was in 'weekend mode' and will get back in gear in the morning. 

My plan (besides completing all the work stuff I need to do) is to go grocery shopping in the morning and stock up for the week. Not taking the time to get myself prepared is a HUGE downfall for me. So I'm out to start the week off right! Wish me luck. I think may need it.

Pictures Done

But I know I'm not going to like them. I'm sure the kiddos will look super cute, but I HATED the ones I saw of myself. Ugh. I'm just so disappointed with myself. Did you know that it has been officially ONE YEAR since I started this blog? ONE YEAR. I'm down somewhere between 5-10 lbs from where I started. Pathetic really. But I guess it's fitting that I'm starting 'over' again. 

Anyway, enough grumbling and complaining. 

Here's a little sneak peek from the photo shoot today. I was trying to get some photos of my son so I could send them to his Foster Mom ... but it wasn't easy to get shots, so I quit trying.  When I get the real photos, I'll be sure to post some more. 

Busy Weekend

Tomorrow we have our family Holiday photos taken. I hate having my picture taken and it completely stresses me out. I do like the outfits that I picked out for everyone, but of course, I hate mine. It'll 'work', but it's not what I would WANT to wear if I could pick out anything. 

I guess it's just another reminder that I need to get focused. Things like this always come up and it kinda leaves me feeling a bit deflated. The process is hard for me and I find it totally frustrating. Ah well ... such is life I guess.  

Here's to hoping the rain stops so we don't have to stand in mud.

Busy Weekend

So sorry that I forgot to update last night. I feel like I have so much going on in my brain right now and I'm just trying to get it all sorted out. I have the chance to send a care package with a friend who is going to Korea soon, so I'm quickly trying to get stuff together for not just one child, but for my other son's Foster Mom as well.  I REALLY need to get some updated photos together for her.

So that, work, we have our family Christmas photos on Saturday ... I'm gone almost all day tomorrow ... still got orders ... yeah. It's just a bit busy here. But I'll be fine. Just busy.

oopsies!

I started to update last night, and then I got side tracked and forgot to finish ... sorry! I'll be back later tonight.

Game On (for realsies)

So even though I TOTALLY did not feel like it, I went to the gym this morning and weighed in. I went up a couple of pounds, but I'm not sweatin' it. Also, I'm down 10lbs from where I started the whole Primal thing, so at least I didn't gain it all back. 

I also updated the weight-loss tracker on the side bar. I did 12 weeks because January actually ended on 12 weeks and I like that kind of thing. Also - I would think that by then I'd have a better idea of what's happening with the EP situation ... so I'll be able to add another general amount to my timeline. 

Anyway, I still have to work on my mind-set. I tell ya, I really do have to 'talk to myself' and get mentally prepared for this stuff. I don't know why I'm like that, but I am. Oh - and I did walk on the treadmill today while I was there. The bummer thing is that my daughter is now getting sick and I'm keeping her home from school tomorrow ... which if I do that, then I really shouldn't be putting her in the child care at the gym ... but I feel like I really need to go ... what to do, what to do. 

Alright - my bed is calling me. So I'm out. Hope you all are having a good start to your week!

And here we go!

Okay. So I'm supposed to go to the gym in the morning. That's the plan. And afterwards I'll be stopping by the Post Office to mail off a HUGE packet of paperwork ... our ACCEPTANCE PAPERWORK! I'm am SOOOOOO freaking thrilled to have that finally done! I'll be over-nighting it, so it'll arrive on Wednesday and then be mailed to Korea on Friday. One step closer. Next step - getting my Legals and filling out the i600 ... once that's done, then I literally have nothing left to do but wait. 

So here we go. A new starting point and true reminder that I'm headed to Korea soon ... let the games begin!

Getting Ready to Start

So I'm finishing up my Acceptance Paperwork and it's taking a bit more time than I thought. I HATE having to print up all the copies ... and I get totally nervous filling it all out as I usually make at least a few dumb mistakes COPYING stuff which causes me to then have to start all over. LAME!

But I'm thinking I can get it over-nighted tomorrow (Monday). Worst case scenario it'll be Tuesday - which means everything will arrive on Wednesday. They only send paperwork to Korea on Fridays, so I have plenty of time. 

Anyway, I still have a slightly feverish boy on my hands, so I'm hoping that tomorrow it'll be completely gone (so I can go to the gym). I'm thinking it may not work out that way, but what are you going to do. Tuesday I can for sure get to the gym as the husband will be home in the morning. Whoo-hoo!

So that's it for tonight. I'm off to bed ... well ... I think I'll try again on one of the forms I didn't finish filling out first ... and THEN I'll get to bed. 

Hope you all have a great week!

worst nightmare happened today

Yeah. So my daughter asked me if I had a baby in my belly. To be fair, her pre-school teacher is pregnant so they've been talking about babies ... and the way I carry my 'fat', totally makes me look pregnant. In fact, I'm actually quite self conscious when I go into baby stores shopping because I'm afraid someone is going to ask me when I'm 'due'. 

I honestly didn't freak out. And I didn't cry either. I think I kinda expected it to happen at some point. So of course I just explained to her that people come in all different shapes and sizes .. and I avoided words like 'fat' or 'over-weight'. That was mostly due to the fact that those words would 're-surface' at really awkward times ... like she'd probably see someone and be like, 'they're not having a baby, right Mommy? They're just fat, right?' And that kind of situation would be WAY more awkward that our 'I'm not having a baby' conversation.

Of course this is GREAT motivation to get back to being serious about the weight loss. So I decided to come up with a new plan. I'm going to go back to the Gym on Monday. I'm also going to delete the weight loss tracker on the right and just start over. 

That's it. Simple. A fresh start, and I gotta get moving. Now that I have a referral, going back to Korea seems WAY more real. 

ugh

So things have been super crazy with trying to get all the paperwork printed up and my youngest got some weird, random fever that has been coming and going. All of that, unfortunately, easily allows me to make bad choices with food. 

I just want to get back into my routine. Remember when I was doing so great with my eating plan ... and going to the gym? What happened? Why is it so hard for me right now?  

All I know ... is that I gotta figure out something soon. For reals.

tired

So much to do! Besides continuing to work on my projects, I got our Acceptance Paperwork today. Ugh. I forgot just how many pages and pages of stuff there are to fill out! And not only that - but you have to get them notarized too! But I'm not complaining ... I'll gladly fill it all out. Since tomorrow is Friday, I'm not going to super rush through it all. I'm just going to over-night it on Monday since it'll basically get there around the same time. All paperwork is sent to Korea on Fridays, so it'll be ready to go next week. 

It is SO crazy to be at this stage again. But I love it. I really do. 

So with that,  I'll say Good-Night to you all!

totally forgot

For realsies. I seriously forgot to weigh in on Tuesday. And now it's Thursday. Its just been that kind of week. I'm super tired, so I'm headed to bed ... but if you aren't on Facebook - we got our referral for our NEW SON! Super stoked and excited. 

But I gotta get some sleep. Hoping to get the acceptance paperwork filled out asap and mailed off. Once I"ll do, I'll post a photo. 

Good night all!

PS - I thought I would mention that my new son has an 'eye lid crease' on one eye, but not the other ... just like Dokko Jin from 'The Greatest Love'. I KNEW there was a reason we needed to watch that kdrama! HAHAHAHA!

Changes

Okay. So it's confirmed. I canceled my 'big order'. But it's not a huge loss as it'll help me be super prepared for a big craft show I'm doing in a month. It was just too over whelming for me. I totally and completely miscalculated how long it would take me to do this order. I can't believe how far off I was. And I kept having to push back the date ... and it was totally consuming my time ... and I was making poor choices in regards to my eating, exercising, and just life in general. 

Honestly - I could end up making more money at the craft fair with this inventory than originally planned. So I'm not upset about it. I just think it was a choice I had to make and I feel like a huge burden has been lifted.

So now I will continue working (as I still have a ton left to prepare for next month) but now I get to go back to the gym. I'm actually really excited about it. I can start going to bed at a decent time and just get back to a normal schedule. 

What a great way to start November!

Halloween

So it's over. Thank goodness. It wasn't as picturesque as I thought it would be. I got some cute shots this morning of the kids, but once night time fell ... so not fun. Melt down city is what we had going on. But the good news it that we gave away all the candy in the house. So at least all of that is gone. 

Also... I'm hoping to make some changes to the order I'm working on. I'm trying to confirm it tomorrow. If I succeed, I'll fill you in later. 

With that ... I'm headed to bed. 

oh - and here's one of my favorite photos I got this morning: