habits

So I'm getting back into the grove of working. I've been working on some smaller projects when I SHOULD be working on the big project. So now I've officially started it. And I have to say, it's so weird realizing what some of my habits were ... like my nightly consumption of Diet Pepsi/Coke. I used to ALWAYS have a large fountain soda to 'get me through the night'. Sometimes I'd drink it all, and sometimes, I'd barely make a dent in it. But it was a habit, a crutch, a nightly ritual. 

I went off the stuff cold turkey when I started going Primal. And it was MUCH easier than I thought it would be. Even when I've gone out to eat at a restaurant, I haven't ordered one. But I did get one last night. And it BURNED my throat as it went down. Like it seriously hurt. It's so weird to think that it NEVER bothered me in the past. So what's different? Did it actually numb my throat before? Why am I so sensitive to it now? 

Anyway, as I was working late into the evening, in my familiar setting ... the craving came back. Even though I knew the night before it was a painful experience. I thought about it for a long time, and then I eventually caved. I still have some cans of soda in the frig, so I got one. I figured it was smaller than get a fountain soda from a drive-thru. 

But I also made a deal with myself. If I took one tonight, I wasn't going to take one ever again. I just don't need it, and I can see where I'm starting to make 'allowances' with myself. So tonight was my last one in a long while. I don't need the stuff, it only bloats me, and again, it really does burn when it goes down. I didn't finish the can. I'm not sure I even got half way. But I'm glad that I can rationally make decisions regarding what I'm putting into my body. Is drinking Diet Soda the end of the world? No. I don't think so at all. But I know for me, it's something that I can become dependent on, and it's not going to help me reach my weight-loss goals. So I'm more than willing to give it up. (key word being WILLING. Before, I used to feel like it was being taking away from me against my will ... so I only wanted it more ... and justified it. I don't feel the need to do that now.)

I gotta say. This Primal thing has been the best thing for me in so many ways. I really do love it.