Friday, November 19, 2010

the 'Honeymoon' is apparently over

Okay, so I have LOVED getting all the feedback and ideas from everyone this week. It has been such a huge form of encouragement and has made this week pretty bearable. 

And then there was tonight. 

But don't start groaning for me yet, I haven't made any 'poor choices', but gosh, I am soooo having a mental war with myself. First, I should explain something about me. I am an emotional eater. If there is a reason to celebrate, you better believe I'll 'treat' myself with food. If I'm sad and upset, food is my source of comfort. Bored? I'll mindlessly snack on something. 

I have friends, when they are in need of a  'stress reliever',  choose to run. RUN! Why can't I be like that? Believe it or not, when I'm stressed and I eat, I can actually feel my blood pressure coming down. I can feel a sense of calmness come over me as I enjoy something that tastes good in my mouth. I know, sounds totally crazy right?

Anyway, tonight I got the kids to bed earlier than normal and the husband was working late and believe it or not, I was bored. I fed the kids around 5pm and I ate then too... so now it was over three hours later and I just wanted to eat. Heck - I would have eaten an entire bag of steamed peas, but I knew those were calories that I shouldn't eat... and I didn't need. It was so frustrating. I literally had to ban myself from the kitchen because I would just walk around looking at things I could shove into my mouth. 

I drank water, but I was still obsessing. And honestly, even as I write this now, I still want to eat. But thankfully I have this blog as my accountability. If I didn't, I know I'd be eating something right now. 

*big, BIG sigh*

So on that note, I think I shall go to bed. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I can have breakfast.

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