Reality Check

So I totally got a reality check from my BFF (if you happened to read the comments, then you saw it). And honestly - I have no defense. She's totally right. And just so you know, it's been well documented that my BFF is able to 'tell me things' (and get away with it) that other people can't. And ... well ... she did it again. 

I've fallen off the horse. I have a TON of stuff that I need to get done (remember when I was talking about mapping out the rest of the year?) and it's starting to become a little overwhelming. When I get stressed, I kinda can't see beyond the tip of my nose. I sabotage myself, allow myself to do so, and then get more frustrated with my lack of progress. It's a horrible cycle. 

I know I've wasted a ton of weeks. I can see my own list that I made so I'm well aware of what's going on. And sadly... this is what happens all the time. I have great intentions - make some dates, but the date comes and I'm still the same. 

... big sigh ...

But here's the deal. I'm getting help. Like literally. I'm having a babysitter come for a few hours, a few times each week so I can start my big projects I have. And part of what I'm going to work in, is going to the gym. I'm going to start going earlier, and because I won't have to take the kids, I don't have them as an excuse for being late, or having to leave early because the childcare closed. I still have goals, and I still have things I want to accomplish... but I'm still looking for the motivation that is going to make me addicted. For reals. I really want to become an addict. And now I just have to figure out how. 

Got any suggestions for me?